complaints

an Eternal member.

I wake up in the middle of the night soaking in hot sultry sweat screaming at the top of my lungs. The words...incoherent. As I'm settling down I reasure myself "Relax boy, just another panic attack." I've been having those since...I don't even remember. My psychologist told me they were anxiety disorders and gave me medicines to help relax my mind, thus becoming less sensitive to certain worries. They have not been working, fucking bitch. As I'm trying to find comfort from my girlfriend I notice an empty space in the bed. Gone, she left. She told me it would come to this eventually, I just never figured she would pull through. We've been having problems lately, she no longer sees the powerful and unfaceable man she fell for. No, now...I'm merely a pulp of what i used to be. I guess it's time.

I walk down the stairs in my spiderman undies and head straight for the desk drawer. There, a weapon of destruction, used by mankind to solve infinite amount of conflicts. As I take the gun I make sure it's fully stocked and loaded. I leave barefooted via the front door and think to myself "Goodbye...cruel world".....
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The sound of a bell echos through the entire workplace, it's 11 am. "Great, lunch break." I pitched in a sarcastic tone. What would normally be a pleasant and welcome relieve to most men, for me, it art not so. Don't get me wrong, I used to love lunch breaks. It's just that when I accepted an invitation to join a dominant clan things have gone to shit. People, my closest friends even, had no sympathy to give me. "They won't get me today, hayabassie. Come on." I thought to myself. But I didn't believe these minor words of encouragement myself. The moment I walked into the cafeteria I was doomed, and I knew it, I wasn't fooling anyone. As I took my daily coffee (black, no sugar) I got stricken from behind. I looked up from the ground not even noticing my burned hands from the spilled coffee, two dudes...getting ready for business. I instinctively started turtling up getting ready for a beating, but nothing happened. My heart was pumping so ferociously I thought my chest cavity was gonna explode any second. As I let my guard down I felt a hot shower of liquids pouring down on me. I tried shielding my pina colada sandwhich from the urine, but it was to no avail. They screamed "ETERNAL NEED GO!!!". I cried looking up from the floor as they made me eat my soaking wet urinated flavoured sandwhich. All the while, everyone was laughing, even the janitor...I hear he was clanleader of the failed Dynasty at some point, but I'm not sure. I couldn't finish the process of eating my sandwhich as I kept barfing it up. One uttered "YOU CAN'T EVEN FINISH EATING A SANDWHICH, ETERNAL BUM!!". Like sheep they all started chanting "ETERNAL MEMBERS CANNOT EAT SANDWHICHES, ETERNAL MEMBERS CANNOT EAT SANDWHICHES!!!" It's strange...I kinda...felt like...I failed. When suddenly a moment of distraction occured I ran. With my tail between my legs I ran like I never ran before, towards home. Home, the word sounded so good.

As I arrived home I didn't even take the time to shower, I went straight to my computer and started dumping energy. "Hmph, I'm in top10 position right now, not to shabby." I whispered to myself, forgetting about past events. Around 7pm my girlfriend arrived home from a day of labour. As I hear loud bumping footsteps at the doors corridor I remember "Manure, it's wednesday. I was supposed to pick her up." She storms over me like a menacing freight train, throwing away any dignity I had left out the window. "Fucking chump change, urine smelling bitchblood. It's time to start coming up for yourself. You want to be a loser for the rest of your life!?" Those were the words that stuck to me the most, I needed to come up for myself. Sure I could leave Eternal, join a different clan and enjoy a prosperous, fruitful and beautiful life. But will that make me a better man then them, and how long before I change my waaaays to theeeeres? I vowed the Eternal oath to not become a part of that. I told her I would change, but she didn't seem very confinced by the statement.

So here I am, writing this story to you all. You know nothing about Eternal life, so don't judge lest ye be judged yourself. Sure we get a Top Clan platinum, but tell me...is it really worth the abusive behaviour, violence and humilation? Could you handle yourself in the best clan in the world of bots? At least I still got other people to care about me and I will get to bed tonight and make sweet anal love to one of them. And well, when all else fails...I'll just bring a fucking gun to bots.

I'll just bring a fucking gun to bots.

That's the shit right there.

This post was so fucking win :P

All the while, everyone was laughing, even the janitor...I hear he was clanleader of the failed Dynasty at some point, but I'm not sure.

Best line in there

I love your posts..

This post i one off the best in a long time thanks enjoyed it very much!

I swear you dole your out awesome posts like they are made of some delicious, amazing cake.

you misspelled sandwich

join atreides, way less pressure ;)

oh & great post!

Join Immortalis, we're gh3y and shit.

Fudge packers?