miscellaneous

I love a good joke entertain me ^_^

What does KFC & A women have in common? Once your done with the breasts and the thighs you still have a greasy box too put your bone in.

HAHAHAHAHAHA ^

There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor.
The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine.
The next day the doctor called and the wife answered.
"I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said.
"I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample".
After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"He needs a pair of your underwear".

Not the best but gives me a giggle :P

This one make you laugh lobster?

Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.
The doctor said, “Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint… and a shovel.â€
Paddy asked, “And what do I do with these, doc?â€
The doctor replied, “Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. If she says, ‘That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever saw.’, you hit her with the shovel.â€

Haha ive actually heard that one before :P

FFS

How does the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

fuckin love it nos!

My wife was making the kids some breakfast this morning when i came down the stairs. "Im fed up wih you going off to the pub on your own every night",she said "You need to be doing more stuff with your family!" "She`s right," i thought. So tonight im going with my brother.

Guy is eating peanuts and throws one in the air and it lands in his ear. After trying and trying to luck in getting it out. Daughter comes home with her boyfriend after a date and sees her dad in pain. Her boyfriend is a doctor and says "I can get that out!". He puts two fingers up the dads nose and tells him to close his mouth and breathe out. The peanut comes out! The boyfriend and daughter walk into the kitchen for a soda and the mom says "What a great guy! What do you think he will be when he grows up?". The dad says "By the smell of his fingers, our son in law.".

HAhahahahaha

LOL LOL LOL ALAN!!!!!! that was a good one!

Guy walks into a bar - says "Ow!"

Guy walks into a bar, sits down next to a beautiful blonde woman who seems to be enthralled in a 10pm news story on the tv covering a man threatening to jump from a 20-story building to his death. Guy says to blonde "I'll bet you 50 bucks he jumps" and slaps down a fifty on the bar-top. Blondy replies with: "You're on!" and the pair return their attention to the tube, watching intently for several minutes until the man indeed leaps from the building, plummeting to his end. Blonde turns to Guy handing him fifty dollars and says "you win" Guy responds with "I can't accept your money, I saw the story on the 5:00 news already", she cocks her head slightly and says "So did I, I just didn't think he would do it again"

HAHAHA

LOLLLLLLL Typical Blonde :P

been with my share of blondes, only one was truly "bright"

whats the difference between Acne and Gary Glitter

Acne doesnt cum on your face till your 13

:)

"Her boyfriend is a doctor" [...] "What do you think he will be when he grows up?"

Eh, a doctor?

My son has recently come out the closet, telling me he decided to be gay. This came as an awful surprise to me, he hated anal sex as a kid

Three guys are traveling in Arabia. They come across a tent of 100 beautiful girls. They start to have fun with the girls and then and man comes in says "Stop, you have no right to be here. You shall pay for your actions!".

He walks to the first guy and says, "What do you do for a living?". "I'm a policeman." "Fine, we shall shoot your dick off" and so he does.

He asks the same question to the next guy, "I am a fireman.", "Fine, we shall burn your dick off" and he does so.

He asks the final guy the same question, "I'm a lollypop salesman."

why does everyone want to hang out with the mushroom




cause he's a fungi