miscellaneous

Jans [87]
2014-08-15 02:26:20
[9 years, 228 days ago]

Rancho Cucamonga


 
u04 [39]
2014-08-17 17:09:02
[9 years, 226 days ago]

ya


 
u05 [40]
2014-08-17 17:18:57
[9 years, 226 days ago]

no


 
Sm12 [40]
2014-08-18 22:40:58
[9 years, 225 days ago]

1


 
Sm13 [41]
2014-08-19 20:33:10
[9 years, 224 days ago]

2


 
Mr Refined [2]
2014-08-19 20:35:07
[9 years, 224 days ago]

3


 
dcc [81]
2014-08-19 22:48:10
[9 years, 224 days ago]

5


 
Alexadria [1]
2014-08-27 10:39:28
[9 years, 216 days ago]

0


 
OliFTH [72]
2014-08-27 11:05:46
[9 years, 216 days ago]

pls send 10 dollars to my paypal account oli_fth@yahoo.com

I will also rward you with 5 stars. This is cheap deal.

Thanks

Pothead & Samuli


 
Train Again [245]
2014-08-27 11:15:27
[9 years, 216 days ago]

Lmao


 
Monster Reborn [1]
2014-08-30 19:36:55
[9 years, 213 days ago]

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


 
Tony Montana [54]
2014-09-02 19:45:15
[9 years, 210 days ago]

how i get a scar like that from eating pussy man?


 
Alejandro Sosa [54]
2014-09-02 19:58:37
[9 years, 210 days ago]

i told you not to fuck me tony!


 
Xpl [32]
2014-09-04 04:26:59
[9 years, 208 days ago]

? really


 
Version Level Two [1]
2014-09-14 11:14:09
[9 years, 198 days ago]

really really.


 
AnGeLiCMaKeR [50]
2014-09-15 00:53:48
[9 years, 198 days ago]

.


 
sidsky [32]
2014-09-17 07:01:08
[9 years, 195 days ago]

Baginas everywhere! Moo.


 
THC1 [54]
2014-09-17 17:47:30
[9 years, 195 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC2 [54]
2014-09-17 17:48:25
[9 years, 195 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC3 [54]
2014-09-17 17:50:23
[9 years, 195 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC4 [54]
2014-09-17 17:51:33
[9 years, 195 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC5 [54]
2014-09-17 17:52:44
[9 years, 195 days ago]

smoke me.


 
Sesshomaru [100]
2014-09-17 19:13:10
[9 years, 195 days ago]

SHE BANGS

SHE BANGS


 
Nivel Dos [1]
2014-09-18 18:44:15
[9 years, 194 days ago]

I BANG

I BANG


 
Nosferatu [255]
2014-09-18 22:59:42
[9 years, 194 days ago]

I found the world's longest sentence.......

Once upon a while back there was an ambitious contortionist who made up his mind he would try to conquer the twenty-seventh highest dead volcano on Neptune, with his tongue secretly hiding behind his overweight postman's Swedish Hi-Fi set and the shoelaces of his Persian Ugh boots stubbornly caught on the corner of the round Toongabbie equestrian sports complex, while he would try to breed miniature brown cicadas inside a quickly rotating water-heater with seven silk pillowcases hanging from his uneducated vacuum cleaner which would be chained around his navel, and ask if his second grand-stepfather has heard of any orange-flavoured Portuguese atomic submarines in the neighbourhood lately that have precisely half of their crews attempting to break the 1958 record for mass voluntary electrocution whilst being sponsored by the dangerous chrysanthemum division of Interflora, who have recently gone bankrupt due to the discovery of an overcrowding of rebellious screwdrivers in the Martian stratosphere last week, when salamanders controlled nine hours forty-seven minutes of the 1978 Pakistani croquet final between the lower Philadelphia fishmonger recruiting officer and Karl Marx's younger brother Harpo, who has not seen his bedroom since the Mexican figure-skating champion booked fourteen tomatoes for exceeding the post-war speed limit and lost his balance whilst trying to hunt abominable snowmen at the Olympics with a soggy sultana hidden inside his chaperone's nightshirt which, in 1947, when John Lennon first washed his face and socks in the same country, had its only steel-plated sleeve melted off by the self-appointed chairman of Doubtful Drainpipes Destruction Company under the New Moscow Harbour Bridge which is, at present, rusting severely, due to a heavy downpour of talcum powder over at Disneyland and also due to sixteen undernourished lizards going into a deep, meditating coma without asking their mothers, who were not about to stand for this caper and sat down immediately, squashing Winston Churchill's scale model of Albert Einstein's theory of relativity, which was about to be tested for leakages by the Unemployed Dandelion Research Institution of Dublin, the only city in the Northern Hemisphere to have nine-tenths of its population with an I.Q. less than the average shoe size of the Australian woman, which is seven, but would be more if Neil Armstrong, the best marbles player to walk the surface of the moon, had not decided that he would accept the challenge to be the first and only man to extract his own eardrum while suffering from severe cramps in the left thumbnail, because Franklin D. Roosevelt once put on his coat inside out, which did not seem like a particularly good reason at all, but, considering the fact that the great tennis ball makers' strike of 1904 was, in fact, a fraud, he felt that he could not let the United States of America down who had already bet four buttons and a can of coconut milk on his success and hoped that he would survive the operation which had full, live television coverage by the Ethnic Ethiopians' Broadcasting Commission (E.E.B.C.) in a program with five different commercials showing how to get sperm whales with thick dandruff out of your backyard swimming pool by calling the "sperm Whales with Dandruff in the Backyard Pool Removal Service," who instantly give a free measure and quote, on the condition that the sperm whale to be removed is not suffering from gravel rash, a symptom quite often associated with Outer Mongolian malaria, the only disease in the world except, of course the 'flu, to pass the standards of the Waterloo Water Board, which were introduced six weeks ago because of the invention of shockproof, water-resistant, anti-magnetic, nuclear-explosion-proof sideburn trimmers (the greatest thing since sliced bread), and because of the remembrance of the first Anti-sliced Bread Protest March, which had to be cancelled due to a lack of support on the same afternoon as Norman Gunston's attempt to capture a smart Irishman which, while being unsuccessful, had to be satisfied by a blowfly of about the same intelligence extremely quickly, because the net profit of the experiment had to finance a joint venture between ESSO and BHP in which Norman's aunt's second husband's greengrocer's friend's hairdresser's mother-in-law was to have her false teeth removed by means of voodoo, which is at present practised only by an almost extinct race of politicians found only in the remote valley of Canberra who are trying very hard at the moment to keep the economic sky from falling on to their heads and subsequently avoid a quiet democratic dismissal by the public in a never-ending search for truth, justice and a cheap Christmas dinner which is not surrounded by enormous overheads comprising mostly of a few million dollars profit thrown in for the Artificial Christmas Turkey Company to make the industrial road smoother, and for good old Uncle P.M. in his private, mental straightjacket to tax merrily so as to have enough money to pull his head out of the clouds and his fingers out of his public image money box, which is the largest of its kind in the known world according to the latest annual survey carried out by N.A.S.A., which also showed that there has been a drop in the number of people willing to explain to their bosses why their two-week sick leave lasted nine years and why, when they are rung to be questioned about the reason for this peculiarity, the phone is always answered by a stuttering grandmother trying to persuade the inquirer into thinking there is something wrong with their telephone or that he has been dialling the wrong number for the past eight years eleven and a half months and when, after these possibilities have been overruled on the grounds that the phone was checked last year and that the inquirer has never rung a wrong number before in his life, an elderly vacuum cleaner salesman makes off with the telephone, never to be seen again by anyone alive, except his fellow vacuum cleaner salesmen, who arranged and secretly planned the whole operation without any help whatsoever from Berlin's newly elected Mayor - Mr Jerry Lewis Jnr who received this appointment because of his love of South American curry powder, since the prime ingredients are, of course, peppermint and Manhattan mushrooms, with no artificial flavouring, colouring or preservatives usually found in American suntan lotion worn by most of the population of Miami Beach, where a film appropriately named "The Fourth Return of Son of Son of Jaws XIX" (repeat) is being shot by a team of highly paid, unqualified voluntary producer/directors, who cannot really keep their greedy eyes off the admirable feminine figures that make up practically all of the film's screening time of forty-three hours sixteen and a half-minutes, except for the part where the tedious hero goes into an underwater cavern to search for lost victims of this pathetic shark, which is really half electronics, thought up simultaneously by one hundred and forty-two brigadier-generals, which may seem amazing, but is really nothing compared to the incredible twenty-three cents amassed over seventy-two years of solid devotion by eighty-six members of the Royal Philharmonic Choir in an effort unsurpassed since the year of completion (1978), when an enormous celebration was prepared that turned out to be as difficult to accomplish as dissecting an experimental nuclear warhead with a dried mosquito wing, with the complete collection of Status Quo's albums obstructing the view that is needed to perform this difficult operation, which once, and only once, was performed by the one and only John Smith, who is no relation to John Smith or the other John Smith, well known for his attempt to beat the monstrous rate of inflation by changing the price tag of every retail item in the country, which happened to be a miserable failure because the price tags were so well hidden by the shops concerned that he failed to find more than the six left exposed on the last remaining loaves of bread in the state of Queensland, which he did not buy, leaving them behind for the next seven hundred shopping-mad housewives to tear apart ferociously, trying to get as many crumbs as possible for their starving families waiting in the cars outside hoping for their darling mother's safety for the secret reason that they did not have anything else to do, as the family mother-in-law just passed away and there is a unanimously undecided decision to mourn with deep regret while celebrating joyously, with a mysterious reign of utter confusion governing the whole situation, which is also governed by the "No Small Talk Just Small Print Insurance Brokers", whose business is rapidly increasing because it has just been announced that they have insured Marty Feldman's eyes against normality for $600,000.63, an enormous sum of money, as the "600,000 dollars" part is profit for the insurance brokers, and actually only the "63c" part is the payment really made to poor old Marty, the funniest looking beetle ever to attempt to ski up a steep gravel road with no snow, no skis and his arms and legs tied behind his back since the ex-tap-dancing coach of Dizurted Island escaped from the Federal Penitentiary after serving a sentence nearly as long as this one for actually voting in a federal election, which might have been bad enough, but of course he had to go and make the whole ordeal worse by buying a bus ticket without accusing the bus driver of highway robbery or a similar offence, such as insulting the referee present at the gala day for the premier Czechoslovakian Embroidery Team who were undefeated in the season preceding the present one, where they lost only those two games because the teams they played in those games had decided to be cruel and turn up to compete with them in what is now proclaimed as being the most exciting competition sport in the known world, and special stadiums are rapidly being constructed all around the globe to cater for the millions interested in this fascinating, enthralling and totally mind-blowing spectacle being promoted by bee-sting scratching supervisors all around the world who do not want any new people joining the already overcrowded International Embroidery Association, because already multitudes of over-enthusiastic potential world champions are forgetting their life ambitions and running away to any one of the forty-add thousand clubs belonging to the I.E.A., or beginning new clubs, which is an original concept, but there are still the seventy club houses and gymnasiums being set up in Darwin alone that cannot be forgotten, but seeing that they ARE in Darwin, the club houses are therefore full of people not worth talking about, except for one drunk from (quote) "somewhere out behind that big, red rock by the name of Ayers" (unquote), who believes that the first life form on earth was a bartender, which is a slightly unusual view, but he backs up his argument by saying that the bartender must have been very successful because he had no competition in those days and who else could have begun the idea of forming the multitude of bartenders alive today which this drunk needs constantly but which Alcoholics Anonymous abhors, preferring Real Estate Agents much more, because, according to A.A., a Real Estate Agent - or rather his dog - was the first life form on earth, and that dog's master was not very successful because, although he could sell all the land he could see, he could not actually sell it to anybody, a complication which made him extremely depressed, and he started taking his frustrations out on his dog, who ran away to join a circus - or rather form a circus - because, of course, circuses had not been invented in those days, the days before the ages of watermelons, bread knives, letter openers, curtains, sunflower seeds, and thermo-nuclear disasters that wipe out entire street lights in one blast, a phenomenon which the manufacturers of the dog-repulsers surrounding the bottom of the telegraph poles involved are trying to have abolished, arid the efforts of one man, a Mr It-was-an-Accident-Sir, have contributed enormously to the success of their project which, in fact, was a failure due to the destructive influences of Mr I-Can't-Remember-My-Name Constable, who is also the proud owner of a set of twelve volumes of the International Orange Peel Preserving Encyclopaedia, which he won in a quiz show entitled "How much can you lose in thirty Seconds?", where Mr Constable lost over ninety thousand pounds, to become the night's winner of the worthless encyclopaedia idiocy, which is all a typical example of the heights to which people will go just to say that they have actually won something, even if they did lose more than they won, but nobody hears about that side of the story, except if it was somebody else's fault, which would result in the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, with a few odd lies coming out in a court of suit, very similar to a normal law court, except that in a law court where a murder case is being held, there is a general pandemonium in progress about who killed whom, and why or why not, with a geriatric judge quietly reading girlie magazines whilst some frantically emotional barrister calmly interviews a terrified witness who does not really know what happened and will not tell anyone anyway, because some queer fool of a colleague located next to this apparently brilliant barrister is repeating everything said by the latter with the utmost tedium, a factor of many which end up making the judge resentful, the barrister irritated, the opposing barrister still more irritated and a little furious, the witness not sure what the questions were about in the first place, the jury not sure about what they are doing there anyway, the audience sleepy, the government poorer, and the defendant guilty, a promising prospect for a certain potential murderer who is seriously considering making a full-time trade of depriving a human being of the right to reach senility, but there is a chance of his managing to escape the several thousand loyal policemen, several hundred self-loyal detectives, several million eager members of the general public looking for a scapegoat, several unsuccessful private detectives, and a mother-in-law who is still chasing him for injecting nitro-glycerine into her meat tenderiser in an attempt to make her stop sending him those tasteful beef casseroles which he accidentally fed to his four, once valuable, now paraplegic, German shepherds while trying in vain to remember what Dustin Hoffman gave the United Nations for Christmas in 1958, and at the same time the poor dogs were trying to imagine why their master gave them a bowl with a desk diary in it to drink with their meal and why he was wrapping up a box of water addressed to "The United Nations, c/o Everywhere", which the postman duly collected and lost in the carburettor of his new 1981 Lamborghini, that alone cost £46,000 new, but of course he did not buy this essential component new but second hand for a mere 1,410,000 Lire, because the previous owner wanted a fast sale as he was going abroad, which all goes to show, not that if postmen can afford Lamborghinis then postmen get paid too much, but that Lamborghinis are too cheap and therefore their price should treble so that only doctors, barristers, politicians and milkmen can afford them, in this way separating the rich from the poor in the community, so as a con-man would know with whose wife to become involved in a secret, close relationship lasting about $10,000, or if she really loved him then maybe about £46,000, or 1,410,000 Lire if the current rate of exchange stays stable as long as that, which is very unlikely, because the price of custom-built biorhythms is skyrocketing, due to the increased demand for them by heroin addicts and high-school teachers, who cannot cope with life by themselves, so they have to rent, buy or steal some extra biorhythms just to be able to keep themselves from having a nervous breakdown, or from shaving their legs and spleens, which a lot of them will do because their television told them to, but which a lot of them will do because their horoscope revealed to them that Venus was closer to Jupiter than that day's weather report, so that all Sagittarians would have a tremendous lift in their sex life, and that because the stars of Alpha X-74C-5, or ABCTV-2 were not in view (not counting the fact that a tree was in the way) then all Virgos would undergo a nose transplant, or twenty-four percent of all Geminis would find their true purpose in life at the bottom of a forty-foot snake pit confronted by an arm-wrestling champion, when all that is really going to happen is that astrologers are going to get richer and all the people who believe that their life depends on where a U.F.O. has decided to park are going to get poorer, but if some of them were Americans, then they could probably go on getting poorer indefinitely, seeing that the Americans, with their super-sophisticated technology, their thirty-foot long go-carts, their thirty-foot wide wallets, their air-flavoured pollution and their milkmen, have done everything except find an answer as to whether God (Amen) is communist, socialist, capitalist, democratic, or bored, whereas God (Amen) has really decided to become an independent state, not being ruled by the President (Amen) of America, and has gone to live on an island somewhere in South Andromeda, away from all the hustle and bustle of the modern bridge game, but unfortunately Mrs God (Awomen) does not like South Andromeda, as there are no shopping centres, bridge clubs, knitting needles or milkmen established in the immediate vicinity, which is almost completely occupied by one of the biggest schools in the galaxy, where Mr and Mrs God's family (Amass) can go and disrupt class just like all good little gods and goddesses, or boys and girls as well, who apparently grow up to be men and women according to the Irish National Bureau of Statistics, who have recently revealed that hordes of top scientists from that country are working on a brilliant invention that they are appropriately naming "the wheel", and they feel sure that it will be of infinite benefit to our modern-day life, according to a spokesman, who also said that they are going to sell the valuable patent rights to the Soviet Union for at least £48,000 or maybe, if they are lucky, 1,410,000 Lire, depending upon whether the Soviet Union needs the use of a wheel or two in its industry of making intercontinental ballistic missiles, international disagreements, lots of snow and not many milkmen, or depending upon whether the weather of the island of "Oh, Where on Earth am I" is going to remain at a constant tropical heat of about -68° Fahrenheit or whether the weather is going to become cold, which could lead to the beginning of another Ice Age, similar to the first one when man had only just crawled out of the primeval slime and was just beginning to wipe it all off, but he had to wait until he thought of inventing Kleenex before patiently continuing in what seemed to be a never-ending uphill battle until the invention of soap and sandpaper, which helped tremendously to clean but did not succeed in stopping the re-application of dirt by man again, and even to this day men are still trying to wash off this persistent filth in a strange ritual called a bath, performed in controlled situations called tubs under extremely high temperature absurdities by one - sometimes two, or maybe even three - persons if the World Cup final is on television, the television is in the bathroom and no one has had the intelligence to think of actually moving the television out of the bathroom so that the rest of the less intelligent bathroom inhabitants have an opportunity to get themselves into a living-room or similar room and in the end find out that the World Cup final has been cancelled and that they have to put up with two hours of solid commercials for everything under the sun except milkmen, who never advertise on television as they cannot afford to after purchasing their new Lamborghinis from a leading used car dealer in Harlem, New York, where Lamborghinis are nearly as expensive as Central Park mugger detectors, that are so expensive because the only users of them are the only inhabitants of Central Park - two squirrels and a car park - who really use the mugger detectors because they are shaped like yo-yos, so that the users can throw them into the nearest bush to see if a mugger has camped there for the night, and if one has, then the yo-yo will theoretically hit him on the head, betraying then his unique hiding place to the operator of the ingenious device which was thought up by a crack team of thirty practical jokers employed by IBICTUACITY (I Bet I Can Think Up A Crazier Idea Than You) Proprietary Limited, who are also available on an international long-playing record that is guaranteed to be the wrong size, the wrong shape and the wrong speed, so that the buyer ends up with a piece of worthless plastic that he can either burn or break, in which case he would break a world record for the most useless recording of an insane yo-yo manufacturer of Central Park, New York, an effort of which he could be proud, but for which he would get no recognition, on account of the fact that nobody on the known part of the globe would be interested in that record being broken, except a group of fanatics on records called "The Guinness Bureau of Records", who put out a best-selling book called "The Guinness Book of Records", that uses a special type of ink of very high quality in its printing to make sure that a person buying the book will be able to read it, this then giving the Book a considerable advantage over most of the other world-wide publications, which are usually illegible to the reader, even if the reader is of the same nationality as the writer, which is not very likely anyway, as writers are almost invariably the wrong nationality and speak the wrong language, a particularly difficult obstacle to overcome on the reader's behalf, except if the reader was an aardvark, which speaks every known language, strangely enough, with consistent fluency, which makes it an invaluable addition to any zoo, as the aardvark can instruct the zoo keeper as to what cage deodoriser it would like used on its cage on a certain day of the week or how many autographs it would like to sign for little girls with little grannies who visit the zoo on the condition that the proprietors of the zoo let the little granny play with the larger pythons and the exciting starfish, and the little girl play with Monty Python and the exciting stars, who are determined not to reveal to her their secrets of success or their recipe for strawberry pudding that only that one group of professional idiots are permitted to prepare, according to the Margaret Fulton's International Cookery Book edition of 1979 which has outsold "The Complete Book of Chewing Gum", which is distributed by the same people that organised the first official U.F.O.-spotting ceremony, where the person who spots the most unidentified flying objects in ten minutes wins the lucky door prize of a trip for two, one-way, to the planet of the winner's choice, where he can visit the historic origin of quite a few extra-terrestrial beings and become one of the many suckers to fail for that publicity stunt by "Acme Flying Saucer and Distant Planet Corporation" who, because they are the sole manufacturers of the incredibly intricate, sophisticated, patented garbage tin lid, and because they have claimed rights to any misapprehension arrived at by a member of the general public after seeing a shooting star or a lost reindeer in the upward vicinity of the universe, have found it very easy indeed to influence the media into thinking that there is, in fact, a thriving colony of green men of various sizes orbiting the Earth and bas been throughout the history of the gullible consumer and his parents, who are a vital element in the stability of the belief in these approximately 50%-absolute absurdities of the heavens and who will solemnly swear that they are definitely descended from - or even living with - Napoleon, George Washington and Lord Nelson, and that they have all had a close encounter of the third kind with their favourite unexplained monster from the Loch Ness, the Himalayas, and/or the forests of southern Canada, when everyone knows that all three have been captured and put into Parliament to extrapolate the fundamental laws of human existence and support the theory that man did, in fact, evolve from the Tyrannosaurus Rex and not, as previously believed, from one of the more intelligent species of tinned apricots in syrup, which is a totally ridiculous idea, as Tyrannosaurus Rexs are infinitely more brainless and therefore perfect candidates for the title of "Dinosaurian Enemy No 1", even though they never ate tinned apricots in syrup, which is probably why they became extinct and why man is still thriving, because man eats tinned apricots in syrup every now and again, so that Ardmona, SPC and the rest can consider themselves the saviours of the species, as they are all the producers of the apparently vital part of man's diet, without which man could never have survived the Second World War, according to a self-proclaimed nutritionist, who believes that the Second World War, with its day-centres for Nazi prisoners-of-war, with its various air forces testing out their own anti-enemy firework displays - on the enemy, with its couple of million disguised civilians running around in funny uniforms seeing how close to the enemy they could fire their guns or throw their hand grenades without actually killing them, all falling miserably, with its super-generals all pretending that this little folly is really a dress-rehearsal for World War Three, and with its milkmen running around looking for work, was a complete waste of time on behalf of everyone who had anything to do with creating or inventing it, because no one had permission to have fun in the 1940s from the person in charge of international sport and recreation, who apparently has just retired after a frustrating succession of almost-fatal heart attacks and several quite nasty doses of cancer, which nearly drove him to drink, but was rescued from this boredom by a team of about seven hundred thousand doctors working around the clock for nearly six months without even enough rest to have a quick glimpse of the uncut fifty-one hour version of "War and Pieces of Things that are Not Really Anything to Do with War at All", which is a less successful rendition of the epic movie, "War and Percy", which described Percy Ivegottaluvalybunchofkoconutz's escapades during the Industrial Revolution, where he was barracking for all the industrials and their allies and was fighting whatever the industrials were revolting against, which eventuated in his being put in a lovely room with cushions all over the place and a couple of heavy locks on the door, with plenty of people looking after him and, strangely enough, all wearing white coats and looking much like traditional physio-chemists except for one minor detail, and that is that they were all wearing defence mechanisms to protect themselves from many of Percy's roommates, who appeared to be absolutely mad and quite unaware of the fact that Percy happened to be quite sane and wondering why all these people clad in white had classified him in with all these other weirdos when he was really as normal and sensible as, for instance, Mr E. Rattic, the current president of "Bigots Anonymous", who organises all socials where top-class bigots from all over the world come to degrade minority groups and try to win arguments in the longest possible time with the shortest amount of cocktail breaks or police rails that inconveniently interrupt this apparently jolly good get-together of world-champion, anti-social, chauvinistic, human letdowns, and discouraging Mr Rattic from shooting the lot of them if they laugh at him - or even near him - without consulting the extremely accurate "El Cheapo Bureau of Laws" (ECBOL) to see if laughing at Mr Rattic is currently against the law, or whether it is merely illegal and punishable by being sent to an Ita Buttrose (Amen) rock concert where forced to listen to a musical version of the recipe for next week's fascinating Women's Weekly, that includes an enthralling article on what to wear to the crowning of the next King of England, and how to dig up mushrooms if they get lost as a result of a sudden shower of larger pieces of hail than a dictionary updater would be led to expect, considering of course that a normal, everyday dictionary updater has only a limited intelligence and therefore could not be expected to expect a larger-than-expected size hailstone in the next sudden shower, provided the expected blizzard was conclusively not in April, in which case the dictionary updaters would be the first, if not the only, people to be able to predict the exact weight and diameter of an average hailstone falling in the region of Kuala Lumpur or Morocco, which would not be too difficult to predict, because, as everyone knows, no hailstones fall in Malaya or North Africa (at least not during public holidays), but petrol, by the gallon, or - if most of the residents of Morocco and Malaya have already received instructions from their respective leading petrol station operators to go metric - by the litre, which results in all the petrol sinking into the ground where it lies until some fool of a firebug throws a match in Morocco's general direction so that there is an instant flame that results in the whole of Morocco becoming unbearably hot, permitting the growth of larger than expected hailstones and encouraging the growth of masochists, who really love being tortured beyond recognition and cannot stand being pampered or having a good time, preferring having a really bad time which is how they go about having a good time, which confuses them because they can have a good time only by having a bad time, and good times are totally against their principles, so they have to have a good time which they cannot do either, so most of them kill themselves, resulting in a very large death rate for masochists, nearly as high as the corresponding rate for contortionists, who do really strange things like conquering volcanoes on Neptune in outrageous positions, so as to try to keep up with the already victorious original mountain-climbing contortionist, who really sped up that challenging peak, exhausting himself to the extent that he did not even have enough energy to compile, write, edit, publish and print a record-breaking sentence, since writing sentences of absurd lengths is thoroughly exhausting and not to be tried unless in peak physical condition, since people have tried (ABC NEWS INTERRUPTS THIS SENTENCE TO REPORT THAT AN UNKNOWN CONTORTIONIST, PARTS OF WHOM IT IS BELIEVED HAVE ORIGINATED ON NEPTUNE, HAS ATTEMPTED TO SCALE A FAMOUS MOUNTAIN IN THE SAHARA WITH A GRAND PIANO TIED TO HIS ANKLE. THANK YOU).


 
dragonrose [37]
Head Moderator
2014-09-19 02:34:56
[9 years, 193 days ago]

:|


 
And1INT [39]
2014-09-19 05:43:38
[9 years, 193 days ago]

oooh chimpanzee that monkey news


 
Nosferatu [255]
2014-09-19 09:16:31
[9 years, 193 days ago]

I know you cringe rose, but it wasn't in an effort to "raise" my post avg. It was actually an interesting find. The sentence contains over 5k words, and is apparently grammatically correct.


 
THC6 [54]
2014-09-24 13:39:33
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC7 [54]
2014-09-24 13:43:25
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC8 [54]
2014-09-24 13:44:49
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC9 [54]
2014-09-24 13:46:11
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC10 [54]
2014-09-24 13:47:17
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC11 [54]
2014-09-24 13:48:55
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC12 [54]
2014-09-24 13:50:37
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC13 [54]
2014-09-24 13:51:48
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC14 [54]
2014-09-24 13:53:12
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC15 [54]
2014-09-24 13:54:30
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC16 [54]
2014-09-24 13:56:29
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC17 [54]
2014-09-24 13:57:36
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC18 [54]
2014-09-24 13:58:48
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC19 [54]
2014-09-24 14:00:18
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
THC20 [54]
2014-09-24 14:02:00
[9 years, 188 days ago]

smoke me.


 
NathanW [38]
2014-10-02 17:24:26
[9 years, 180 days ago]

reply


 
The Lords Dumpers [1]
2014-10-02 19:32:04
[9 years, 180 days ago]

POT IS FOR LOSERS.


 
SG03 [1]
<Sgs>
2014-10-03 01:29:00
[9 years, 180 days ago]

Post


 
SG04 [1]
<Sgs>
2014-10-03 01:30:22
[9 years, 180 days ago]

Post


 
SG05 [1]
<Sgs>
2014-10-03 01:37:51
[9 years, 180 days ago]

Post


 
Global Warming [39]
2014-10-03 09:03:42
[9 years, 179 days ago]

Post


 
Sesshomaru [100]
2014-10-03 09:24:07
[9 years, 179 days ago]

Is it Postal?


 
HoF [32]
2014-10-03 15:04:06
[9 years, 179 days ago]

No post office


 
Crab Whistler [130]
2014-10-03 15:05:59
[9 years, 179 days ago]

Yes it´s right there.


 
Bacup [80]
2014-10-15 11:26:40
[9 years, 167 days ago]

shalom


 
Juv0 [96]
2014-10-15 16:40:18
[9 years, 167 days ago]

lol


 
Stacksteads [80]
2014-10-15 20:55:30
[9 years, 167 days ago]

Shalom


 
Waterfoot [1]
2014-10-15 21:21:28
[9 years, 167 days ago]

Shalom


 
Haslingden [1]
2014-10-16 18:45:18
[9 years, 166 days ago]

Shalom


 
Champion01 [1]
2014-10-18 20:30:59
[9 years, 164 days ago]

I barebacked Nosferatus mom!


 
Champion02 [1]
2014-10-18 20:35:05
[9 years, 164 days ago]

me too


 
Champion03 [1]
2014-10-18 20:38:27
[9 years, 164 days ago]

me three


 
Champion04 [1]
2014-10-18 20:45:19
[9 years, 164 days ago]

me four.


 
Champion05 [1]
2014-10-18 20:48:51
[9 years, 164 days ago]

I am the fifth bot to have sex with nos's mom.


 
Champion06 [1]
2014-10-22 21:43:31
[9 years, 160 days ago]

chinese chicken


 
Champion07 [1]
2014-10-22 21:45:08
[9 years, 160 days ago]

slowly roasted lamb


 
Champion08 [1]
2014-10-22 21:52:07
[9 years, 160 days ago]

succulent King prawns pan-fried with shells on after marinating in garlic and chilli then finished with a touch of brandy, served with fluffy basmati rice and and a rustic fresh bread roll.


 
WDA [45]
2014-10-28 21:38:38
[9 years, 154 days ago]

hi, im a windumper. FEAR ME


 
Allies [19]
2014-11-03 02:42:57
[9 years, 148 days ago]

Ebola?


 
kss [73]
2014-11-20 14:27:03
[9 years, 131 days ago]

pothead is amazing and i love him.


 
xvid [143]
2014-11-20 14:46:38
[9 years, 131 days ago]

gg


 
anarkila [91]
2014-12-22 05:54:34
[9 years, 99 days ago]

gfg


 
aneikiodos4 [150]
2014-12-22 11:56:32
[9 years, 99 days ago]

nipple clamps


 
Sir Zordric II [2]
2014-12-24 07:07:27
[9 years, 97 days ago]

bump


 
Teemo [1]
2014-12-28 10:38:21
[9 years, 93 days ago]

Woop Woop


 
Step993 [1]
2014-12-28 16:11:35
[9 years, 93 days ago]

WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


 
Peter Griffin [4]
2014-12-29 13:19:10
[9 years, 92 days ago]

boo


 
Chris Griffin [1]
2014-12-29 15:40:51
[9 years, 92 days ago]

boo


 
PeterGriffin [2]
2014-12-29 20:30:27
[9 years, 92 days ago]

boo


 
Singin Fighter [1]
2014-12-30 21:46:43
[9 years, 91 days ago]

boo


 
Step987 [1]
2015-01-02 19:28:08
[9 years, 88 days ago]

lol


 
Step986 [1]
2015-01-02 19:36:30
[9 years, 88 days ago]

adw


 
Step985 [1]
2015-01-02 21:45:51
[9 years, 88 days ago]

uh oh


 
Step984 [1]
2015-01-02 22:59:07
[9 years, 88 days ago]

a


 
Trainer998 [1]
2015-01-03 18:18:34
[9 years, 87 days ago]

a


 
Node9 [80]
2015-01-04 14:22:28
[9 years, 86 days ago]

a


 
Energy2545 [1]
2015-01-05 01:26:18
[9 years, 85 days ago]

a


 
Tester1234 [1]
2015-01-05 13:43:28
[9 years, 85 days ago]

ok


 
Tester1235 [1]
2015-01-05 13:49:15
[9 years, 85 days ago]

a


 
Tester1236 [1]
2015-01-05 13:54:21
[9 years, 85 days ago]

http://i.imgur.com/p9lG2ss.png


 
test1213 [1]
2015-01-05 14:04:51
[9 years, 85 days ago]

ok


 
test1213 [1]
2015-01-05 14:04:51
[9 years, 85 days ago]

ok


 
test1236 [1]
2015-01-05 14:07:32
[9 years, 85 days ago]

dawwd


 
xj17 [130]
2015-01-07 13:14:11
[9 years, 83 days ago]

So rusty!!!! School is crazy... have not had internet at home for a year, getting it soon...so maybe i will start playing again!


 
Espartero [15]
2015-01-08 12:08:52
[9 years, 82 days ago]

Hey


 
slammer51093 [28]
2015-01-09 21:49:38
[9 years, 81 days ago]

Awkward


 
Bit [1]
2015-01-10 08:13:10
[9 years, 80 days ago]

ok


 
maleable [1]
2015-01-10 08:46:29
[9 years, 80 days ago]

daad


 
baleable [1]
2015-01-10 10:03:39
[9 years, 80 days ago]

f


 
caleable [1]
2015-01-10 13:30:23
[9 years, 80 days ago]

aye dog


 
Dirty Secret [1]
2015-01-13 12:10:08
[9 years, 77 days ago]

grrrr


 
WarMech [1]
2015-01-13 12:59:56
[9 years, 77 days ago]

dawwa


 
Arcane Knowledge [1]
2015-01-13 17:39:33
[9 years, 77 days ago]

fffff


 
effortless [1]
2015-01-17 12:14:48
[9 years, 73 days ago]

...


 
goldwaffle [1]
2015-01-17 12:22:54
[9 years, 73 days ago]

awdawd


 
awdawdawd [1]
2015-01-17 12:56:58
[9 years, 73 days ago]

awdawd


 
goldydog [1]
2015-01-17 13:04:32
[9 years, 73 days ago]

awdawd


 
goldpork [1]
2015-01-17 15:17:55
[9 years, 73 days ago]

awdawd


 
speednut [1]
2015-01-18 09:31:53
[9 years, 72 days ago]

a


 
speedman2 [1]
2015-01-19 10:49:29
[9 years, 71 days ago]

a


 
speedman1 [1]
2015-01-19 10:57:37
[9 years, 71 days ago]

a


 
Singin Basher [92]
2015-01-19 13:36:42
[9 years, 71 days ago]

boo


 
Straight Heat [1]
2015-01-19 13:45:20
[9 years, 71 days ago]

a


 
lead3 [87]
2015-01-22 15:59:43
[9 years, 68 days ago]

I am legend.


 
King SinGin [55]
2015-01-24 23:28:08
[9 years, 66 days ago]

BOO!!!


 
Sir Zordric III [36]
2015-01-25 04:24:58
[9 years, 65 days ago]

Waaargh!


 
Pothead Apprentice [1]
2015-01-27 01:42:34
[9 years, 63 days ago]

yeah


 
Fatboy Ninja [1]
2015-01-27 20:53:49
[9 years, 63 days ago]

boo


 
Pill Popper [1]
2015-01-29 22:22:52
[9 years, 61 days ago]

boo


 
Master Yi [41]
2015-01-30 06:01:28
[9 years, 60 days ago]

Weeee


 
Karez [21]
2015-02-03 12:35:41
[9 years, 56 days ago]

1


 
Esvrainzas Tourny [1]
2015-02-03 20:19:22
[9 years, 56 days ago]

Oh yeah!


 
Esv Tourny [1]
2015-02-03 20:22:36
[9 years, 56 days ago]

Another!


 
Esvz Tourny [1]
2015-02-03 20:24:55
[9 years, 56 days ago]

Another???


 
SinGin Trainer [1]
2015-02-05 22:43:16
[9 years, 54 days ago]

hhmmmmm


 
DarkSecret [1]
2015-02-08 03:49:15
[9 years, 51 days ago]

a


 
LostSecret [1]
2015-02-08 04:47:07
[9 years, 51 days ago]

hmm


 
gratofo [1]
2015-02-08 16:32:26
[9 years, 51 days ago]

aa


 
gratifi [1]
2015-02-08 16:34:51
[9 years, 51 days ago]

a


 
DeTRoiTwhore [94]
2015-02-08 19:37:26
[9 years, 51 days ago]

post.


 
lead5 [29]
2015-02-10 02:58:16
[9 years, 49 days ago]

juhogiocfoucghgjhk;hgdsffdfygulh;'gf;posidsyfduf


 
VonClausewitz [1]
2015-02-10 06:09:24
[9 years, 49 days ago]

aa


 
dragonkudo [1]
2015-02-15 12:27:38
[9 years, 44 days ago]

a


 
dragonkudo1 [1]
2015-02-15 12:29:24
[9 years, 44 days ago]

a


 
hope21 [1]
2015-02-18 16:09:49
[9 years, 41 days ago]

a


 
The Fallen One [3]
2015-02-23 06:32:25
[9 years, 36 days ago]

.


 
Sir Chimpus [2]
2015-03-09 16:33:34
[9 years, 22 days ago]

where we're going, we wont need roads.


 
Dynamitecop [214]
2015-03-09 17:33:05
[9 years, 22 days ago]

Don't read this


 
Fiesta [1]
2015-03-12 17:51:25
[9 years, 19 days ago]

Hola


 
Esvrainzas [134]
2015-03-12 18:20:49
[9 years, 19 days ago]

Que tal hombre?


 
Cccheapshot [68]
2015-03-12 19:03:31
[9 years, 19 days ago]

ok


 
HMAN [4]
2015-03-23 14:41:24
[9 years, 8 days ago]

0


 
Off Tap [68]
2015-03-23 14:48:11
[9 years, 8 days ago]

1


 
Source Code [26]
2015-03-27 07:47:25
[9 years, 4 days ago]

1


 
Curtain Rail [141]
2015-04-01 07:12:18
[8 years, 364 days ago]

much xp. So level.


 
The Owner [1]
2015-04-02 23:04:21
[8 years, 363 days ago]

.


 
Eggs [50]
2015-04-03 23:27:40
[8 years, 362 days ago]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ


 
ceepi [70]
2015-05-02 04:56:47
[8 years, 333 days ago]

Queef


 
King Chimpus [70]
2015-05-27 11:09:51
[8 years, 308 days ago]

Beef


 
Two Chains [1]
2015-05-28 23:01:42
[8 years, 307 days ago]

-Riot


 
Kid Ink [1]
2015-05-28 23:15:36
[8 years, 307 days ago]

-Sunset


 
Chief Keef [1]
2015-05-28 23:26:43
[8 years, 307 days ago]

-Don't like


 
Tyga [1]
2015-05-28 23:33:11
[8 years, 307 days ago]

-Faded


 
French Montana [102]
2015-05-29 02:24:43
[8 years, 306 days ago]

All Hustle No Luck


 
Mighty Fifty [1]
2015-05-29 05:13:21
[8 years, 306 days ago]

For Fun


 
InfernoCRO [69]
2015-05-29 06:14:18
[8 years, 306 days ago]

no


 
Dickwick [1]
2015-05-29 13:04:17
[8 years, 306 days ago]

Yes


 
Source Code [27]
2015-06-01 06:47:43
[8 years, 303 days ago]

.


 
u03 [45]
2015-06-15 06:44:29
[8 years, 289 days ago]

a


 
u04 [48]
2015-06-15 06:50:10
[8 years, 289 days ago]

b


 
jezz [292]
2015-06-15 06:59:06
[8 years, 289 days ago]

boring


 
Jezka Brash [53]
2015-06-16 21:56:48
[8 years, 288 days ago]

Idjits.


 
Worked blasters2 [2]
2015-06-22 18:31:59
[8 years, 282 days ago]

buy meeeeee capitano welfare!


 
Worked blasters3 [1]
2015-06-22 18:33:10
[8 years, 282 days ago]

buy meeeeee capitano welfare!


 
Worked blasters4 [1]
2015-06-22 18:34:29
[8 years, 282 days ago]

buy meeeeee capitano welfare!


 
Worked blasters5 [1]
2015-06-22 18:38:18
[8 years, 282 days ago]

buy meeeeee capitano welfare!


 
Gpof C9 [108]
2015-06-24 19:07:08
[8 years, 280 days ago]

shwoop


 
Gpof C8 [114]
2015-06-27 12:12:28
[8 years, 277 days ago]

da woop


 
KeSPA1 [112]
2015-07-02 01:17:44
[8 years, 273 days ago]

BOOM SHAKALAKA


 
Testdrive8 [114]
2015-07-02 01:27:31
[8 years, 273 days ago]

BOOM SHAKALAKA


 
Shelf stacker [32]
2015-07-02 01:42:26
[8 years, 273 days ago]

shelf stacker!^


 
T0x1C [127]
2015-07-02 04:56:10
[8 years, 272 days ago]

-


 
KeSPA2 [111]
2015-07-02 17:24:18
[8 years, 272 days ago]

Marko is a very handsome man


 
MC Master Flex [1]
2015-07-02 19:01:59
[8 years, 272 days ago]

herp derp


 
Pablo Escobar [1]
2015-07-02 19:04:26
[8 years, 272 days ago]

dyuuurp


 
KeSPA4 [112]
2015-07-03 03:54:20
[8 years, 271 days ago]

Where is Walter White?


 
Creator God Light [26]
2015-07-03 23:47:37
[8 years, 271 days ago]

iiiiiiiiiiiii


 
The Vision [23]
2015-07-04 05:06:03
[8 years, 270 days ago]

:)


 
Zach Eternal [23]
2015-07-05 20:46:07
[8 years, 269 days ago]

foolish


 
Sir Zordric IV [1]
2015-07-06 10:56:52
[8 years, 268 days ago]

Knock Knock


 
Ham Burger [10]
2015-07-06 13:47:37
[8 years, 268 days ago]

Ham Burger


 
Zord [60]
2015-07-07 07:07:17
[8 years, 267 days ago]

Hamburger who?


 
Trio [362]
2015-07-09 19:37:50
[8 years, 265 days ago]

The Hamburgaler


 
Lord Chimpus [91]
2015-07-11 03:33:10
[8 years, 263 days ago]

.


 
brct1 [1]
2015-07-20 04:13:26
[8 years, 254 days ago]

boo!


 
Testdrive6 [115]
2015-07-23 03:12:18
[8 years, 251 days ago]

Alright


 
Testdrive4 [115]
2015-07-23 03:26:51
[8 years, 251 days ago]

Its a holiday


 
Testdrive5 [115]
2015-07-23 04:10:00
[8 years, 251 days ago]

in Cambodia


 
Testdrive7 [115]
2015-07-23 06:36:28
[8 years, 251 days ago]

y


 
Catch1 [115]
2015-08-03 03:54:12
[8 years, 240 days ago]

SHIKAKAAAA


 
Catch2 [115]
2015-08-03 04:23:21
[8 years, 240 days ago]

aaaaa


 
Catch3 [115]
2015-08-03 04:25:09
[8 years, 240 days ago]

bbbbbbbbbbb


 
Catch4 [115]
2015-08-03 04:37:57
[8 years, 240 days ago]

cc


 
Catch5 [115]
2015-08-03 08:52:24
[8 years, 240 days ago]

dddddd


 
Catch6 [115]
2015-08-03 09:09:11
[8 years, 240 days ago]

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


 
Catch7 [115]
2015-08-03 09:22:19
[8 years, 240 days ago]

666


 
Judge Zal [1]
2015-08-03 09:39:12
[8 years, 240 days ago]

wubwubwubwubwub


 
Forbidden One [24]
2015-08-28 15:08:48
[8 years, 215 days ago]

Obliterate


 
dumpidlidump7 [1]
2015-08-30 12:53:41
[8 years, 213 days ago]

ok


 
dumpidlidump9 [1]
2015-08-30 14:47:10
[8 years, 213 days ago]

aaa


 
dumpidlidump10 [1]
2015-09-01 19:37:19
[8 years, 211 days ago]

GNAHHHH!!!


 
dumpidlidump12 [1]
2015-09-02 05:23:14
[8 years, 210 days ago]

waaaaaaaaaaaaah


 
dumpidlidump13 [1]
2015-09-02 07:20:29
[8 years, 210 days ago]

GAH GAH URGH URGH SPIT


 
dumpidlidump14 [1]
2015-09-02 16:15:13
[8 years, 210 days ago]

[15:55] bust it, im about to make this mic shortcircuit [15:56] this beat is wack as hell, this shit fits you perfect [15:56] don't say shit, im havin a bad day bitch


 
Healthy [1]
2015-09-09 16:05:57
[8 years, 203 days ago]

hi im new here. anyone wanna help?


 
dave skylark [1]
2015-09-09 16:22:57
[8 years, 203 days ago]

ok


 
Ludacris [118]
2015-09-09 21:49:21
[8 years, 203 days ago]

Knock Knock


 
NeuroFlux [1]
2015-09-24 05:43:22
[8 years, 188 days ago]

no post


 
Pothead [103]
2015-09-28 14:28:33
[8 years, 184 days ago]

snake massage in israel


 
Falling Down [24]
2015-10-21 15:37:47
[8 years, 161 days ago]

207


 
TerrorInc [111]
2015-10-21 23:52:52
[8 years, 161 days ago]

All I see is Christian’s unruly mop as his head dips lower between my legs. His usual M.O. is to circle my clitoris with his slick, crackerjack tongue but tonight he’s doing something different and – it’s exquisite!

He presses his tongue flat against me as he laps at me with long strokes. He starts at the bottom and sweeps it upward in lazy, even lengths. Every time he comes up, I catch his eyes, blazing fire with pleasure and thick desire. Fuck! As always the pressure is just right and as he stops and re-connects with me again – there, yes! Right there! – I get a 1000 volt jolt, straight to my core.

I moan, almost scream as he flicks over my whole slit again. I so much want to grab his head and force his tongue to stay on me and stop this maddening teasing but both my wrists and ankles are tied to the bedposts. I buck my pelvis into his face but his leisurely pace doesn’t change. The heel of his right hand is firmly pressed down onto my pubic bone creating a delicious pressure. His left thumb is rubbing slow circles on my inner thigh, my whole being willing him to move it up – just an inch – and slip it inside.

I glimpse his rippling shoulder muscles glistening with his perspiration in the dim light. He’s so freaking hot. Oh…! I’m so close. He senses my quickening and two fingers glide roughly through my wetness and straight to my sweet spot, the other arm snakes up my body where he pinches my nipple and twists violently. I shudder and groan in ecstasy, thrashing my head about as I detonate my release.

Holy fuck! My eyes fly open and I jerk up my torso, vaguely surprised that my restrains aren’t holding me back, where is Christian? My body is covered in sweat and I’m breathing like I’ve run a marathon. I look around confused; I’m alone, in my bedroom, in my apartment. My body’s still weak, jittery from my grinding orgasm, apparently induced by yesterday’s events and my flaming hormones, finding an outlet, the only way it knows how – in a dream.

I flop back onto my bed, grab my pillow and drag it over my face. I force in a deep breath and let out a primal shriek whilst kicking my legs wildly, giving in to my child-like tantrum. The yell morphs into sobs and then hysterical giggles. What am I going to do? My way forward is completely blurred as a flash back of yesterday’s events play through my rattled mind.

The picnic was amazing, Christian was so gentle with Chris, he is such a kind and natural father. We left the park quite late and Taylor drove us straight onto the tarmac of the Miami International airport to board the Grey Enterprises jet. By that time Chris was exhausted. Christian gave him a quick tour, revelling in his innocent, awed excitement; he even let him sit with the pilot for a bit.

By take-off his little eyelids were hanging heavy and low. Christian fussed over him, strapping him securely into the reclined seat and covering him with a soft blanket so that he could sleep. It tugged so hard at my heart that I had to look away at times, unable to watch how, after just one day, he was doting on his son. The melancholy bled like black ink into water.

After a quick, 40 minute flight, one of Christian’s new men met us upon arrival in Savannah. Christian introduced him as Collins. He was a perfect Taylor clone, bristling with efficiency. I briefly brooded over what might have happened to Sawyer. I hoped that I wasn’t the reason for his absence, that Christian didn’t fire him for failing to stop my covert escape but I was grateful that he wasn’t the one to collect us – if Taylor was mad at me, how mad would Sawyer be?

Christian carried a sleeping Chris from the plane straight into the booster seat of yet another waiting SUV. His sleepy eyes remained resolutely shut. That’s what a day of fresh air and excitement will do for you when you’re four. The thought had me smiling, warming my heart.

Collins drove to my mom’s house without the aid of any directions from us and dropped her off. My subconscious took the opportunity to remind me that Christian was indeed the ultimate stalker and I shrugged, undaunted – it’s not like I didn’t know.

I gave mom a bear hug and I felt her warmth along with her well wishes for me in our embrace. She knew how edgy I felt about Christian visiting our home.

The next stop was mine and the churning in my belly told me exactly how anxious I really was. All too soon Collins parked in front of my building and carried our bags up to the fourth floor. Christian lifted our son from the car and held him close, Chris’ head resting on his broad shoulder.

In an effort to dispel my angst I started jabbering as we walked. Even to my own ears I sounded overly chipper as I told him about Jo-Anne, the neighbour to the right of us. I mentioned that she had a son, the same age as Chris and how they were best friends – like only children can be. I stumbled through a list of all the good things I could tally about the building, that we’ve never had problems with crime and that it was well maintained – all the while feeling unreasonably defensive of the home I’ve made for us.

What will Christian think? The pressure was eating away at me.

At the front door I fumbled clumsily with the keys and wondered where the flowers I ordered were. I was expecting them to be waiting, ready to put me back on an even keel, restore the balance of power between us and maybe gain a clue to the depth of his reticence about our relationship. Oh well, nothing I can do about that now.

Collins placed our bags in the hallway, nodded his goodbye and left to wait in the car. I quickly made my way to Chris’ room with Christian tailing behind. I turned down his bed and closed the curtains. Christian laid him down, ever so gently. He just stirred and turned on his side, still far away in the land of nod. I pulled off his shoes and Christian asked if he could tuck him in and sit with him for a while.

“Sure,†I said and smiled to hide another lump I had to swallow past. I scurried to the kitchen to do some deep breathing and find my collected self. I made a pot of tea and started on coffee for Christian when he joined me in the kitchen.

The atmosphere between us was awkward and my conversation stilted: “Uhm,†I cleared my throat grappling for something to say. “Thank you for a lovely day and for dropping us back home.†I had my back turned to him but I heard him pull out a chair, taking a seat at the cosy kitchen table.

“You’re welcome Anastasia.†His tone was soft, hesitant and I could feel his eyes burning into my back.

I joined him at the table and we nursed our drinks, staring at nothing, lost in a maze of jumbled, hesitant thoughts.

“What’s wrong Anastasia?†His index finger slipped under my chin and he lifted my gaze to meet his.

I closed my eyes for a beat and basked in the small point of contact between us. I sighed, “I’m so confused Christian.†I answered him honestly and shook my head, “I understand your reservations, why you turned me down,†my look dipped down, studying my knotted fingers. “I know how much it hurt but why…†I faltered; too coy to say it out loud.

In that moment I seriously doubted my ability to read him, maybe I had misread the signs and he’d scoff at my presumption. I drew a bolstering breath, mustering all my courage as I squared my shoulders, “why are you so flirty with me?†I locked onto his eyes, pleading with him. “You’re… leading me on, torturing me.†I breathed, my face instantly blooming into a blush as I uttered the question that’s been nipping at my mind.

“Anastasia,†he began, running a hand through his silky hair and his grey look turned darker, “I can’t hide my attraction to you any more than you can hide yours from me. What’s the point?†He shrugged in resignation and continued: “we both know it’s there, we feel it all the time.†He was still watching me closely, looking to read the responding cues on my face.

Ahh!

“We torture each other,†he leant back against the chair, gaze still intent, “it’s always been like that with us.†His mouth set in an uncompromising line.

I started to shake my head no, but he interjected: “you torture me by defying me and I torture your body.†His head inclined to the side, the words tripped of his tongue in such a casual manner that he could have been talking about the weather.

“But.., but if that’s how you feel, why can’t we try?†the pleading desperation in my voice was very thinly veiled. I stopped my heart and breath while I waited for his reply.

He snorted, “I may not doubt your attraction to me Anastasia,†his brow quirked and offered me a pointed stare, “but your long-term staying power – that’s another story.†His full mouth twisted into a wry smile and he broke the lock of our eyes, the pain too close to the surface for him while he shook his head, compounding his refusal even further.

It was like an icy wind that swept through my entire body, chilling as the blood drained from my veins. My heartbeat was suddenly sprinting; was he saying that there was no hope for us, ever?

A knock on the door made us both jump and his brows shot up in surprise. “I’m not expecting anyone,†I quickly replied to the question his eyes held; my tone a little defensive and weary of the subtle anger I thought saw lurking there.

“Yohoo darling, are you decent? Yohoo?†The familiar throaty voice was echoing through my small apartment.

Uh-oh! It’s my other neighbour, Miss Dee, the one I neglected to mention because I wasn’t sure how Christian would feel about us living next door to a six foot two transvestite. I pushed back my chair and made for the passage in an attempt to head her off but her long legs closed the distance way too quickly and she caught us in the kitchen.

“My daahling! You look fab, welcome back!†She air kissed me in her exaggerated manner and shoved a lovely bouquet of flowers into my hands. “These came for you daahling, thought I’d keep them safe for you.†Her purple taloned hand batted playfully in my direction and she gave me a salacious wink teamed with a broad, super white smile.

Ah, the flowers I ordered for myself.

“Dee!†I said, overly bright, “thank you! Look at you!†I gave her an appreciative once-over. She was wearing the skimpiest of purple lycra dresses and her blonde wig was a mass of curls. Her eye make-up matched the colour of her outfit exactly and the glitter platform shoes added at least another 10 inches to her already towering height.

She was a wonderful, warm person and I could truthfully say that I liked and trusted her. She worked as a computer geek in the day, which usually only started somewhere after 1pm. If you saw her then she could probably pass as a fairly regular guy, lounging about in sweats, her face displaying a roguish stubble but at night, she lived her true passion as she transformed herself into Miss Dee Licious for her evening show at some trendy drag club.

“Dee, this is my friend Christian.†I didn’t dare use her full stage name, I was hoping that he wouldn’t notice that she really was a he but I thought it unlikely, Christian usually didn’t miss much.

My subconscious was quick to point out her prominent Adam’s apple, the ever-present five o’ clock shadow and her masculine build, no way was Christian going to think she’s a girl. She folded her arms across her chest and sneered nastily at me.

Miss Dee’s long lashed, sparkly eyes turned to Christian and lit up with delight and curiosity. She cheekily wolf whistled straight at him, “what a delicious morsel Ana, where have you been hiding this fine, fine man?†She pointed an index finger at him, flicking it up and down in a zigzag motion as she devoured him with her eyes.

Christian stood and extended a hand to shake hers, his expression thankfully bemused. “A pleasure Miss Dee,†his reply was polite before he shot a quick glance in my direction.

“Why hello there, mh, mh, mmhh! It’s Miss Dee Licious daahling.†She drew the words out, squeezing as much flirtation into them as she could. She took his hand but instead of shaking it she turned hers up so that there was no doubt that she wanted him to kiss the back of it.

To Christian’s credit, he hesitated only for a second before giving her an exaggerated, extravagant kiss on the back of her hand, bowing his head slightly. His stunning eyes had softened and were light with amusement. I had to stifle a fit of giggles thrashing to burst out.

“Hmm, hmm!†She smacked her lips in approval and threw her sheer purple scarf over her shoulder. “Did you send these lovely flowers? You should be careful, don’t spoil the girl so much sugar, she’ll start expecting it from you!†she gave a throaty, roaring laugh at her own joke, winking at me while she patted my arm good-naturedly.

From that moment our day took a swift nosedive. Christian’s expression turned from amused to sour in a nanosecond, “no, unfortunately that pleasure was not mine.†His voice was gruff and his eyes precipitously cold. With hostility vibrating off him he tilted his head in question to me, expecting an explanation.

“Oooh, an admirer!†If she heard the change in his tone she ignored it and made an exited grab for the card before I could even think of taking it. I cringed and flushed every shade of red.

“Welcome home – from: you know who,†she read it out loud and turned the card over to check the back. “It’s got two kisses girlfriend!†She was buzzing with excitement on my behalf. “Who’s the lucky man that’s captured the ice queen’s heart?†She speculated suggestively, teasing me only because she knew that I didn’t date and Christian snorted sarcastically at the mock nickname.

I took the cups to the sink to hide my scarlet mask, “ah, just a friend.†I called over my shoulder as I tried frantically to sound nonchalant, unaffected. Did I really think this was a good idea?

“Well, it’s about time! A fine little thing like you can’t sit on the shelf forever!†another throaty laugh from her and my mortification was complete, glowing on my face and my ears. She had no idea of the history between us and all the heavy, unsaid things filling the room so I couldn’t be mad but I knew the time had come to get rid of her.

“Are you on your way to your show?†It was a blatant attempt to change the subject, steering it away from my non-existent love life.

“I sure am honey, it’s good to have you back, tell the little prince I’ll see him tomorrow,†her eyes crinkled at the corners and she smiled a warm smile mentioning Chris.

She turned to Christian pointing a long nail at his chest. “You better move fast honey, if this one,†she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder at me, “is interested in someone, I think he’ll be pretty special. You’ve got yourself some stiff competition.†She put both hands on her hips, persuasive in her particular brand of romantic advice.

It’s was my turn to splutter and I found a renewed urgency to get her out. I took her by her muscly upper arm and curled my mouth into a grin I wasn’t feeling. With more force than I intended I started to steer her out of the kitchen. Fortunately she went willingly while she waved her goodbye back over her shoulder. “Bye daahling, I’m just next door if she won’t give you any lovin’!†She roared with that raspy laugh and wiggled her waving fingers.

Back in the kitchen I found a cool Christian leaning against the counter, both hands on the edge of the top, arms bent at the elbows. His long legs were stretched out on front of him and crossed at the ankles; his burning intensity was seriously opposing his casual demeanour.

“Nice neighbour,†he said dryly.

I was shaking in my boots, speculating about the level of his anger? “I like her,†I kept my reply even, my voice low and my eyes away from his.

“Are you seeing someone Anastasia?†His voice took on that whispering quality that he assumes when he went thermo but trying very hard to supress it. He was cutting straight to the chase.

I felt a fearful shiver scrape down my spine as I swung my gaze to his, my head cocked to the side. “No, I’m not. He’s just a friend.†I hope the lie wasn’t apparent; I also couldn’t miss the dangerous fury in his eyes even if I wanted to.

“Like Jose was just a friend?†He spat at me, face distorted with distaste.

Oh crap! I didn’t want to dwell on Jose! I shook my head and bit my lip; fear had stolen my voice, all I could do was stare at him, holding out for the fallout.

I could virtually hear the cogs turning and grinding in his head as he considered the repercussions of not taking me back, of me being free to see someone else. The internal war he was having was spilling across his features but he played it unruffled – always in control.

“You can see who you want,†his sculpted mouth bent into a disapproving line as one hand waved me off, dismissively. Still the relaxed arrangement of his body looked unaffected but his eyes were scorching with hostility and he’s jaw muscles were working overtime, bunching at the sides of his face as he clenched repeatedly.

My inner goddess rubbed her hands together and grinned, he’s jealous, he wants us! But my subconscious snapped at her, at what cost, you overeager fool?

“Don’t you date?†The hint of irritation in my tone wasn’t intentional but his reaction surprised me, he was no monk.

He regarded me coolly for an unbearable minute before he spoke in a menacing baritone, “I see that you’re still not listening to me.†He let the words hang between us, never taking his focus off me while he waited for me to find some unknown comprehension.

Huh?

When it became clear to him that I wasn’t going to get whatever sublingual message he was sending me, he answered with a flat, low note, “no Anastasia, I don’t.â€

No dating or no sex I wondered but my inner girls were both shaking their heads at me, don’t go there!

Of course I couldn’t heed their advice, I was too curious to stop. I simply had to know, “not even a comely, compliant little submissive?†There was no way I could keep the jealous sneer in my words from showing, too much at stake in his answer. It was like watching a car wreck, no matter how horrified you were, you could not look away.

“For fuck’s sake Anastasia!†two riled hands took their familiar path through his hair, “have you any idea..?†His voice was raised but he trailed off, shaking his head in frustration or disgust, I couldn’t tell.

I could see his aggravation, pulsing through his now rigid pose as he gave me glimpse of the state of his soul and it was clear that I was to blame. A bout of fresh shame had gripped my heart in its merciless claw.

“I have to go, Collins is waiting.†The flash of vulnerability he had on display a second ago was now replaced with a curt inflexibility. He head for the door and I followed him meekly where his annoyance was amped up by the fact that it wasn’t locked. “This door should be locked,†he barked at me with a thunderous frown.

I withered and wilted under his scolding gaze and nodded my acquiescence, “okay.†The whisper was so faint that he might not have heard it.

“I’ll be in touch.†His tall frame was filling my doorway and I risked a peek at him through my lashes. I was expecting him to turn and leave but he lingered, seemingly rooted. I knew that he was sensing the current between us – sparking wildly. Lust, anger and frustration were all brewing and shaping a powerful force field around us and we were both trapped in it, watching each other with parted lips but neither willing to bend to the other’s will.

His brow creased as he remembered himself, consciously unplugging from our mutual generator. He gave me an abrupt nod, swivelled on his heal and strode away with a determined and restored purpose. He didn’t look back.

I slipped inside and locked the door, leaning my forehead forward and resting it on the door. Slowly I banged my head against the wood in measured thuds, producing a satisfying knock that underlined the pounding in my confused, sorry-ass of a brain.

That was how our day, that held so much promise, ended. Christian and I – mad at each other again and me – conjuring up orgasms in my sleep, born from unrequited sexual tension. I wished that I could kick the crap out of something.

squiggle1

Okay, enough with the wallowing! I castigate myself and swing out of bed only to realise how early it is, far too early to be up. I amble to the kitchen, hoping that a cup of tea will make the prospect of my day look less bleak. There’s no way I’ll I be able to go back to sleep. The apartment is quiet, empty with Chris asleep and I contemplate getting some work done, I still need to go through my contract. It dawns on me that Christian never committed to helping me and my low spirits take a further dive. Why should he?

I jab at the on button of my laptop and reach for the fat sheath of papers that make up the details of my future relationship with the BTB publishing company. I was so excited about this deal but in my current frame of mind it all just seems like a big chore. I feel flat and unmotivated and I absentmindedly click on my e-mail icon, fully aware that I’m stalling.

Two heart skipping beats later I look again to make sure I’m not hallucinating. I have an e-mail from Christian! Cautiously I open it, mindful that it may sting.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Past events

Date: 17 October 2016 23:52

To: Anastasia Steele

Anastasia

I regret the way we left things this evening. As always I lose all reason around you and it’s not conducive to us rebuilding any sort of relationship. I enjoyed spending time with Chris and I sincerely hope that we can come to a mutual agreement regarding visiting rights. I understand that he’s still young and that you would have to accompany him if he is to visit me in Seattle. He barely knows me but I very much want to rectify that. I will cover all travel expenses and once your book deal is signed, you could work anywhere, so traveling shouldn’t pose a problem.

I will gladly help you with the negotiations surrounding your contract. Please forward the relevant documents to me and we can discuss it, maybe via Skype. However, I would still prefer Grey Publishing to take you on, that way I know we can ensure that you and your work get the best possible service. Please also forward me your manuscript for my perusal.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

Oh boy! Christian – the king of mixed messages! He loses all reason around me, is that good or bad I ponder. He enjoyed spending time with Chris but doesn’t mention me. Can I infer from that, that he didn’t enjoy spending time with me? But the thing that really gets me, the thing that leaps off the page at me is the fact that he’s used those words: “visiting rightsâ€. I can’t help but feel the underlying legal threat implicit in that term. Facing Christian in court over a custody battle, I would rather eat glass! The cold hand of fear grips my heart and freezes my blood. He wouldn’t, would he?

I drag my mind away from that horrific thought. The plus side is the help with the contract but deep down I know that he’s agreeing because of some misplaced notion that I always need rescuing. Well, in this case I do need help, but still, I don’t want to feel like a child whose all-knowing dad (only Christian isn’t my dad) needs to bail her out – again.

I rest my head in my hands; it’s heavy with unresolved thoughts. He would still be in the air; on his way home. This e-mail was sent shortly after he left me last night. At least it gives me a bit of time to think about my reply.

List time I think; whenever I have a really big decision to make I make a list. It helps me see a clear path forward. I look at the facts as they stand at this point in time and I make a resolution not to overthink things.

Christian is attracted to me. He likes Chris and wants to spend more time with him which also means time with me. He is Chris’ father, a role that he seemed to have embraced. He thinks there is someone hanging around in my romantic background and it makes him jealous. He’s offered to help me with my book deal. He’s is not in a relationship with another woman. He doesn’t trust me. Seeing it written down like that it becomes abundantly clear that, apart from the last point, we have everything going for an eventual reconciliation. The trust problem, I must admit, is a big one. Christian values that more than most things. In spite of our undeniable magnetism he’s managed very well to keep his distance – way too well if you ask me.

Can’t blame him can you? It’s the harpy again, pointing out the obvious.

I remember when I first started seeing Christian, in the very early days when we were still discussing contracts and limits. I was so drawn to him and flattered by his interest. I recall being awed by his prowess but I felt intimidated by him and even though I trusted him in the bedroom, I didn’t trust him not to break my heart.

He kept pushing me to open up so that he could get to know me and build my trust in him. Even after I left the first time, he went out of his way to re-establish the trust between us; he found a new way for us to be together.

I’m having a moment; I see what I need to do. I have to do what he did in a way that he relates too. When I took punishment off the menu he simply reinvented the rules that governed our relationship. I need to draw up a contract, like what he wanted me to sign but this time, it will be about what he can expect from me, what I will do to gain and keep his trust. Something that shows my commitment to our relationship, a promise that he can keep me to.

Yes! I feel a calmness and direction settle over me, this is a solid idea and I love the intimate reference it will make to our past, our shared history. A damn fine idea indeed


 
Black Rock Shooter [90]
2015-10-22 10:31:46
[8 years, 160 days ago]

To me, nothing is painful. There is no such thing as anguish. Even if some things seem like they hurt, deep down, everyone is a nice person. We can understand each other, or so I thought; or so I liked to think. I didn't want to wallow in misery. I didn't want to become spiteful. I just didn't want to be hurt. I didn't want to be hated.

  • Mato Kuroi

 
Kuriboh1 [2]
2015-10-25 07:57:51
[8 years, 157 days ago]

,


 
Escaping Reality [20]
2015-11-04 00:47:23
[8 years, 148 days ago]

Trophy


 
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2015-12-27 17:26:58
[8 years, 94 days ago]

Trophy


 
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2016-01-05 17:48:33
[8 years, 85 days ago]

Mind Crush!


 
ENERGYMASTER5000 [155]
2016-01-05 17:52:22
[8 years, 85 days ago]

WJC!


 
Mrs Porter [1]
2016-01-25 18:14:43
[8 years, 65 days ago]

easy


 
Mrs Arterton [1]
2016-01-25 18:20:32
[8 years, 65 days ago]

sneezy


 
Mrs Klass [100]
2016-01-25 18:23:58
[8 years, 65 days ago]

greasy


 
Zuper Zord [1]
2016-01-29 23:55:18
[8 years, 61 days ago]

Weird trophy..


 
Pothaed [1]
2016-02-10 14:55:12
[8 years, 49 days ago]

Weeed


 
Pothead [103]
2016-02-10 22:18:54
[8 years, 49 days ago]

nice name and post :)


 
Satanus Inaximasus [329]
2016-02-11 03:29:34
[8 years, 48 days ago]

and yet he aint a pothead as 1 spliff and throws a whitey lol


 
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2016-02-13 09:37:43
[8 years, 46 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:33:12
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:34:49
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:37:48
[8 years, 25 days ago]

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2016-03-05 23:38:11
[8 years, 25 days ago]

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2016-03-05 23:38:30
[8 years, 25 days ago]

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2016-03-05 23:38:58
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:39:23
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:39:40
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:39:59
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:40:24
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:42:00
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:42:21
[8 years, 25 days ago]

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2016-03-05 23:42:40
[8 years, 25 days ago]

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[8 years, 25 days ago]

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[8 years, 25 days ago]

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2016-03-05 23:44:31
[8 years, 25 days ago]

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[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:46:33
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:46:52
[8 years, 25 days ago]

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DHW11Sen [23]
2016-03-05 23:47:10
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:47:34
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:48:00
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
DHW11TLO [23]
2016-03-05 23:48:11
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:48:43
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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.


 
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[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:52:47
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:53:12
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
DHW11RunA [23]
2016-03-05 23:55:41
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
DHW11RunA [23]
2016-03-05 23:55:51
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
DHW11DaBoO [23]
2016-03-05 23:56:09
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:57:42
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
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2016-03-05 23:58:18
[8 years, 25 days ago]

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2016-03-05 23:58:49
[8 years, 25 days ago]

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2016-03-05 23:59:06
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
DHW11Eeel [23]
2016-03-05 23:59:25
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
DHW11SaSe [23]
2016-03-05 23:59:58
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
DHW11Osho [23]
2016-03-06 00:00:33
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
DHW11Merz [23]
2016-03-06 00:00:51
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
DHW11Ciara [23]
2016-03-06 00:01:09
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
DHW11elfi [23]
2016-03-06 00:01:33
[8 years, 25 days ago]

.


 
Zero Escape [46]
2016-03-09 19:50:57
[8 years, 21 days ago]

``


 
TS11 [9]
2016-03-12 05:22:57
[8 years, 18 days ago]

.


 
TS12 [1]
2016-03-12 05:25:15
[8 years, 18 days ago]

.


 
Fkudos04 [73]
2016-03-30 01:24:06
[8 years, 1 day ago]

.


 
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2016-03-30 07:18:16
[8 years, 0 days ago]

h


 
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2016-03-30 08:16:23
[8 years, 0 days ago]

o.o


 
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2016-03-30 10:12:59
[8 years, 0 days ago]

1


 
Fila [1]
2016-04-06 11:57:58
[7 years, 358 days ago]

2


 
dump05 [1]
2016-04-06 12:00:49
[7 years, 358 days ago]

3


 
dump06 [1]
2016-04-06 12:01:33
[7 years, 358 days ago]

4


 
dump07 [1]
2016-04-06 12:02:32
[7 years, 358 days ago]

5


 
dump08 [1]
2016-04-06 12:03:23
[7 years, 358 days ago]

6


 
dump09 [1]
2016-04-06 12:04:11
[7 years, 358 days ago]

7


 
dump10 [1]
2016-04-06 12:05:08
[7 years, 358 days ago]

8


 
MrZal3 [71]
2016-04-06 15:57:22
[7 years, 358 days ago]

Moo


 
Wink [1]
2016-04-07 12:28:49
[7 years, 357 days ago]

ooM


 
cash cash [105]
2016-04-09 17:43:22
[7 years, 355 days ago]

boopie


 
YvesDGreat [30]
2016-04-10 22:47:09
[7 years, 354 days ago]

kena


 
Serious One [1]
2016-04-13 03:40:10
[7 years, 351 days ago]

0


 
0v0 [1]
2016-04-19 20:54:34
[7 years, 345 days ago]

yup.


 
Quantum LX [1]
2016-04-21 11:00:44
[7 years, 343 days ago]

poop


 
MyMy [100]
2016-04-22 22:11:17
[7 years, 342 days ago]

hm


 
Turtle [1]
2016-04-26 04:58:09
[7 years, 338 days ago]

d


 
Rustle [78]
2016-04-26 06:24:28
[7 years, 338 days ago]

My own level 80 skull drill bot with min con just ruined my level 100 NaN attempt.

sigh

Maybe one day I'll get it if the stars align just right. I guess it just wasn't meant to be...


 
prince11 [30]
2016-04-26 11:48:29
[7 years, 338 days ago]

post.


 
prince13 [30]
2016-04-26 18:39:55
[7 years, 338 days ago]

post.


 
prince14 [30]
2016-04-26 19:27:28
[7 years, 338 days ago]

post.


 
cash cash [106]
2016-04-26 20:24:01
[7 years, 338 days ago]

no means no


 
Fkudos04 [77]
2016-05-11 01:23:57
[7 years, 324 days ago]

o


 
Wiseblood [1]
2016-05-27 10:22:14
[7 years, 307 days ago]

Gans plucks his nose hairs. True story, bro.


 
kasa10 [2]
2016-06-22 11:11:28
[7 years, 281 days ago]

G


 
juice box [100]
2016-08-24 22:20:23
[7 years, 218 days ago]

Goat Cheese.


 
Fizzle [1]
2016-09-12 16:43:10
[7 years, 199 days ago]

chicken fried chicken fried chicken fried chicken


 
Sir Zordric V [1]
2016-09-30 05:11:26
[7 years, 181 days ago]

Hello


 
Sir Zordric VI [1]
2016-09-30 05:16:36
[7 years, 181 days ago]

What is the difference between a vagina and a fridge?


 
Sir Zordric VII [1]
2016-09-30 05:21:10
[7 years, 181 days ago]

The fridge doesn't fart when you pull out meat...


 
StaleSandbech [24]
2016-10-02 09:09:14
[7 years, 179 days ago]

Hahahaha You guys are so funny :)


 
uwotok [5]
2017-02-13 17:50:56
[7 years, 45 days ago]

!


 
Maleficent [36]
2017-02-16 16:11:13
[7 years, 42 days ago]

chicken butt


 
Tom Brady [46]
2017-02-20 17:59:55
[7 years, 38 days ago]

Hi I'm Tom Brady


 
maxiriloi [43]
2017-02-22 01:45:29
[7 years, 36 days ago]

hello


 
Moron5 [1]
2017-03-07 01:05:01
[7 years, 24 days ago]

Blow me


 
BBoy [1]
2017-03-08 01:07:34
[7 years, 23 days ago]

Hi


 
tarver33 [36]
2017-03-08 10:22:04
[7 years, 22 days ago]

yep


 
The Pirate [182]
2017-03-08 11:28:55
[7 years, 22 days ago]

Arr?


 
Dysko2 [1]
2017-03-13 21:22:56
[7 years, 17 days ago]

.


 
Gpof C7 [1]
2017-03-16 01:12:10
[7 years, 15 days ago]

ayyy


 
Gpof C14 [1]
2017-03-22 02:36:29
[7 years, 8 days ago]

Ayeeeeee


 
gpof33333 [28]
2017-03-22 03:03:14
[7 years, 8 days ago]

Blarg


 
kasa11 [23]
2017-03-22 05:56:46
[7 years, 8 days ago]

ayyy x 2


 
Turtle [6]
2017-03-22 06:10:12
[7 years, 8 days ago]

bang


 
usadnaz [54]
2017-03-22 11:30:32
[7 years, 8 days ago]

boom


 
Oshee [1]
2017-03-23 02:12:56
[7 years, 8 days ago]

Hey


 
Gpof C11 [1]
2017-03-23 05:21:57
[7 years, 7 days ago]

woop


 
Gpof C12 [1]
2017-03-24 10:04:49
[7 years, 6 days ago]

w0o0o0o0


 
PeEll [1]
2017-03-25 01:52:51
[7 years, 6 days ago]

bobo


 
PeEll [1]
2017-03-25 01:52:52
[7 years, 6 days ago]

bobo


 
Mana Sama [60]
2017-03-25 16:19:28
[7 years, 5 days ago]

hey hey hey


 
Wrangler [1]
2017-03-25 21:55:41
[7 years, 5 days ago]

.


 
Baddest [1]
2017-03-26 13:35:51
[7 years, 4 days ago]

Whi cares?


 
Baddest [1]
2017-03-26 13:35:53
[7 years, 4 days ago]

Whi cares?


 
Crushing Day [1]
2017-03-29 09:35:07
[7 years, 1 day ago]

post


 
Gpof Seeker [1]
2017-03-30 01:07:56
[7 years, 1 day ago]

Office


 
Gpof Seeker [1]
2017-03-30 01:11:10
[7 years, 1 day ago]

Mailman


 
New Millennium [1]
2017-03-31 13:48:12
[6 years, 364 days ago]

swa swa swa


 
Innocence Faded [1]
2017-04-03 22:33:54
[6 years, 361 days ago]

aa


 
Peruvian Skies [1]
2017-04-03 22:37:33
[6 years, 361 days ago]

bb


 
nanman2 [12]
2017-04-14 21:04:07
[6 years, 350 days ago]

post


 
nanman1 [8]
2017-04-14 21:07:56
[6 years, 350 days ago]

spam


 
Omnis [124]
2017-07-12 19:21:57
[6 years, 261 days ago]

sup


 
elf13 [22]
2017-07-30 16:04:23
[6 years, 243 days ago]

?


 
hope27 [32]
2017-07-30 16:36:07
[6 years, 243 days ago]

??


 
Regulus [32]
2017-07-31 06:09:53
[6 years, 242 days ago]

????


 
Ave [25]
2017-07-31 07:51:03
[6 years, 242 days ago]

?????


 
Darkbringer [53]
2017-07-31 07:55:28
[6 years, 242 days ago]

duh?


 
God Emperor Trump [121]
2017-08-01 15:42:03
[6 years, 241 days ago]

lol


 
Sicky [20]
2017-08-17 00:57:29
[6 years, 226 days ago]

Dumb


 
Zero One [1]
2017-09-06 08:03:29
[6 years, 205 days ago]

.


 
Fkudos03 [80]
2017-09-27 05:23:26
[6 years, 184 days ago]

joł


 
El Hefe [133]
2017-10-12 18:26:27
[6 years, 169 days ago]

jans is old!


 
Rosco [24]
2017-10-21 14:11:44
[6 years, 160 days ago]

Hi


 
Why Not User [34]
2017-10-22 00:11:01
[6 years, 160 days ago]

tisk


 
Miseria Cantare [34]
2017-10-25 11:53:31
[6 years, 156 days ago]

a post


 
Omnis [126]
2017-10-25 12:15:40
[6 years, 156 days ago]

Last month I was the runner up in Category 8. This time, I couldn't even manage to get a single win at all.

Go figure...


 
Bumper01 [10]
2017-10-28 08:09:00
[6 years, 153 days ago]

that sucks


 
Szmal1 [24]
2017-10-28 08:22:16
[6 years, 153 days ago]

Yeah


 
Aaron Hernandez [24]
2017-10-28 08:23:51
[6 years, 153 days ago]

Word.


 
Bumper02 [2]
2017-10-28 08:24:28
[6 years, 153 days ago]

uh huh


 
Bumper02 [2]
2017-10-28 08:24:29
[6 years, 153 days ago]

uh huh


 
Bumper02 [2]
2017-10-28 08:24:31
[6 years, 153 days ago]

uh huh


 
Bumper03 [1]
2017-10-28 10:42:41
[6 years, 153 days ago]

<->_<->


 
II 01 II [80]
2017-11-19 19:38:54
[6 years, 131 days ago]

a


 
Santanico [27]
2017-11-22 09:28:21
[6 years, 128 days ago]

b


 
D3FT0N35 [83]
2017-11-22 10:04:20
[6 years, 128 days ago]

My knife, it's sharp and chrome

Come see inside my bones

All the feigns are on the block

I'm the new king, I'll take the queen

'Cause in here we are all anemic

In here, anemic is sweet, so

Go get your knife, go get your knife And come in

Go get your knife, go get your knife And lay down

Go get your knife, go get your knife Now kiss me

I can float here forever

In this room we can't touch the floor

In here we're all anemic

In here, anemic is sweet, so

Go get your knife, go get your knife And come in

Go get your knife, go get your knife And lay down

Go get your knife, go get your knife Now kiss me


 
Pothead2 [111]
2017-11-25 17:13:45
[6 years, 125 days ago]

Go take your medicine


 
NCIS03 [100]
2017-12-03 21:13:24
[6 years, 117 days ago]

TP!


 
Wendell Dukes [17]
2017-12-28 23:55:01
[6 years, 92 days ago]

trophy


 
Awakened [2]
2017-12-30 19:47:37
[6 years, 90 days ago]

hi


 
good swede53 [1]
2018-01-01 11:18:07
[6 years, 88 days ago]

dfjk


 
good swede54 [1]
2018-01-02 03:05:39
[6 years, 87 days ago]

oi


 
ordinary [3]
2018-01-02 07:05:35
[6 years, 87 days ago]

k


 
Tapeworm [2]
2018-01-17 19:54:43
[6 years, 72 days ago]

mastershake in tha house!!


 
Luke Hobbs [5]
2018-01-18 19:08:07
[6 years, 71 days ago]

You just earned yourself a dance with the devil, boy.


 
Dragon Master [2]
2018-01-28 16:22:26
[6 years, 61 days ago]

toodaloo


 
Whi000 [2]
2018-01-29 03:58:11
[6 years, 60 days ago]

Hello Jans


 
good swede55 [1]
2018-01-30 08:46:21
[6 years, 59 days ago]

dull


 
good swede56 [1]
2018-02-04 05:44:15
[6 years, 54 days ago]

ng


 
Doomskar [34]
2018-02-13 03:12:39
[6 years, 45 days ago]

hello everyone


 
Exe [1]
2018-02-15 14:06:25
[6 years, 43 days ago]

Hi


 
Ahmed [92]
2018-02-22 20:38:01
[6 years, 36 days ago]

What up?


 
Silencio [40]
2018-02-23 16:37:59
[6 years, 35 days ago]

ssssh


 
Amara [36]
2018-02-28 18:43:19
[6 years, 30 days ago]

^How bout no?


 
good swede57 [1]
2018-03-04 03:40:00
[6 years, 26 days ago]

yeees


 
Fkudos04 [85]
2018-03-08 04:40:27
[6 years, 22 days ago]

hi


 
eee307 [21]
2018-03-10 03:27:39
[6 years, 20 days ago]

i


 
OldTimez [26]
2018-03-13 17:37:20
[6 years, 17 days ago]

...


 
HML [22]
2018-03-15 08:00:24
[6 years, 15 days ago]

I want your whiskey mouth all over my blonde south
Red wine, cheap perfume, and a filthy pout


 
KBZ [4]
2018-03-15 14:57:52
[6 years, 15 days ago]

post


 
TheDarkness [120]
2018-03-17 10:01:32
[6 years, 13 days ago]

poster up


 
The President [25]
2018-03-19 11:35:22
[6 years, 11 days ago]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU_Jdts5rL0


 
ws01 [100]
2018-04-05 00:10:54
[5 years, 360 days ago]

.


 
good swede58 [3]
2018-04-06 05:10:28
[5 years, 358 days ago]

m


 
good swede59 [1]
2018-04-07 11:58:41
[5 years, 357 days ago]

,


 
good swede60 [1]
2018-04-07 13:50:30
[5 years, 357 days ago]

j


 
eee588 [100]
2018-04-08 08:13:36
[5 years, 356 days ago]

k


 
eee588 [100]
2018-04-08 08:13:39
[5 years, 356 days ago]

k


 
Destruct [1]
2018-04-10 13:04:48
[5 years, 354 days ago]

.


 
Saiyan Killer [36]
2018-04-13 14:59:20
[5 years, 351 days ago]

hgiuh


 
winner dinner [2]
2018-04-15 08:34:17
[5 years, 349 days ago]

Bleurgh


 
Disintigration [26]
2018-04-16 15:42:10
[5 years, 348 days ago]

a post


 
AW III [1]
2018-04-18 20:37:13
[5 years, 346 days ago]

.


 
tet [1]
2018-04-20 10:26:20
[5 years, 344 days ago]

W


 
Quit [27]
2018-04-20 15:11:44
[5 years, 344 days ago]

Yo


 
Nick West [52]
2018-04-20 15:12:07
[5 years, 344 days ago]

x


 
Rinzler [15]
2018-04-20 17:55:07
[5 years, 344 days ago]

trophy!


 
Alyssa [9]
2018-04-22 07:04:28
[5 years, 342 days ago]

trophy


 
good swede61 [1]
2018-04-24 12:09:24
[5 years, 340 days ago]

Trophy again


 
rix21 [100]
2018-04-25 09:53:03
[5 years, 339 days ago]

.


 
rix22 [100]
2018-04-25 09:54:35
[5 years, 339 days ago]

.


 
rix23 [100]
2018-04-25 10:09:48
[5 years, 339 days ago]

.


 
Ardicken [1]
2018-04-25 10:29:33
[5 years, 339 days ago]

.


 
Longfellow [28]
2018-04-25 10:31:27
[5 years, 339 days ago]

.


 
EDD12 [93]
2018-04-29 10:07:36
[5 years, 335 days ago]

jans is ancient \o//


 
Final Fantasy [2]
2018-04-29 21:40:47
[5 years, 335 days ago]

Changing settings is not yet available for your bot. You can do this when you either (a) get to level 2 or (b) 10 minutes has passed since your bot was created. Forum posting is not yet available for your bot. You can do this when you either (a) get to level 2 or (b) 10 minutes has passed since your bot was created.

Oh okay then


 
OTv1 [67]
2018-05-04 11:57:49
[5 years, 330 days ago]

booty booty


 
KudosReborn [97]
2018-05-07 15:40:50
[5 years, 327 days ago]

Ha hu


 
Sylverin [78]
2018-05-09 19:19:12
[5 years, 325 days ago]

☺


 
President Camacho [42]
2018-05-14 16:29:20
[5 years, 320 days ago]

Shit


 
Gpof2 [131]
2018-05-14 19:04:17
[5 years, 320 days ago]

test test</imdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostingmyaveragewordsperpostimdefinitelynotboostin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Ender [1]
Administrator
2018-05-14 21:36:55
[5 years, 320 days ago]

Heh, good luck catching up to me. I think the automatic monthly announcements about the clan race skewed my stats for that.


 
Gpof2 [131]
2018-05-15 09:40:52
[5 years, 319 days ago]

Challenge accepted. Nah I'm not after a certain number, I was curious if unseen characters still affected it. My test didn't even go as planned either. Now I will have to test more. In the preview there isn't anything below this paragraph, let's see how it is when posted.


 
Gpof2 [131]
2018-05-15 09:42:45
[5 years, 319 days ago]

Hmm, wonder what happened to my first post then since that seemed to work fine.

more test

more more test

I think it was just too long in the first one.


 
Ecotone [10]
2018-05-21 10:17:41
[5 years, 313 days ago]

Hi


 
Lapras667 [70]
2018-05-22 04:00:45
[5 years, 312 days ago]

what is this about


 
Kangang [88]
2018-05-22 06:06:00
[5 years, 312 days ago]

Fun.


 
Monolith [4]
2018-05-22 16:30:37
[5 years, 312 days ago]

Hi. I'm Lou Filerman. I'm new here.


 
good swede62 [1]
2018-05-23 09:49:31
[5 years, 311 days ago]

helleyo


 
Eee687 [100]
2018-05-25 03:18:36
[5 years, 309 days ago]

hi


 
Creators Creation [1]
2018-06-07 10:51:52
[5 years, 296 days ago]

Help yourself


 
weep19 [100]
2018-06-15 00:27:43
[5 years, 289 days ago]

You are hopeless


 
Numbertwelve [110]
2018-06-18 18:07:20
[5 years, 285 days ago]

Huhu


 
Dazza [36]
2018-06-24 10:10:37
[5 years, 279 days ago]

Tps


 
Wrong [96]
2018-06-25 06:57:58
[5 years, 278 days ago]

Lol


 
CA01 [60]
2018-06-25 06:59:57
[5 years, 278 days ago]

1


 
Wink [1]
2018-07-04 11:36:33
[5 years, 269 days ago]

.


 
Cyborg X [80]
2018-07-05 00:08:10
[5 years, 269 days ago]

( o Y o )


 
FR33Willyyy2 [6]
2018-07-20 23:45:58
[5 years, 253 days ago]

.


 
mynameisruin [139]
2018-08-08 03:36:54
[5 years, 234 days ago]

.


 
l A l [27]
2018-08-13 15:14:32
[5 years, 229 days ago]

Public Socializer ;)


 
Mergatroid Skittle [22]
2018-08-13 16:24:38
[5 years, 229 days ago]

Mergatroid Skittle: University of Louisville.


 
Avenue [159]
2018-08-14 02:23:17
[5 years, 229 days ago]

jo


 
ChimpusBarnes [2]
2018-08-23 08:31:25
[5 years, 219 days ago]

queef


 
fels [29]
2018-09-01 03:59:40
[5 years, 210 days ago]

Hola


 
milk01 [173]
2018-09-05 04:39:36
[5 years, 206 days ago]

muuuuuu


 
milk03 [102]
2018-09-05 07:51:09
[5 years, 206 days ago]

muuuuuuuuuuuu


 
Indiana Jones [100]
2018-09-05 16:19:26
[5 years, 206 days ago]

w00t \o/


 
I was wrong [21]
2018-09-06 16:05:06
[5 years, 205 days ago]

forum post


 
Vetrin [46]
2018-09-06 16:36:12
[5 years, 205 days ago]

public socializer


 
rob12 [1]
2018-09-08 03:49:15
[5 years, 203 days ago]

Y


 
eee600 [1]
2018-09-11 11:19:20
[5 years, 200 days ago]

Boom


 
Crunkenstein [33]
2018-09-11 11:54:35
[5 years, 200 days ago]

!!!


 
Yazza [40]
2018-09-11 16:27:04
[5 years, 200 days ago]

-_-


 
Chicken Quesadila [24]
2018-09-11 16:59:51
[5 years, 200 days ago]

Sad.


 
Taco Bell [50]
2018-09-11 19:50:39
[5 years, 200 days ago]

Taco Bell brings people together with Mexican-inspired food. We're one of a kind—like you. Customize your faves. Sign up for exclusive offers. Order now!


 
Pazza [79]
2018-09-13 11:11:47
[5 years, 198 days ago]

Lol


 
DetoxMe [1]
2018-09-17 03:18:12
[5 years, 194 days ago]

Hello


 
Luth [245]
2018-09-17 08:09:09
[5 years, 194 days ago]

Fuck you^


 
DKM02 [125]
2018-09-17 19:03:49
[5 years, 194 days ago]

fart


 
Hydrolic [1]
2018-09-18 09:46:43
[5 years, 193 days ago]

yo


 
Que01 [2]
2018-09-18 23:21:51
[5 years, 193 days ago]

01


 
make01 [35]
2018-09-19 11:51:39
[5 years, 192 days ago]

01


 
Fragile [1]
2018-09-20 23:40:25
[5 years, 191 days ago]

Yo


 
Fazza [110]
2018-09-21 00:46:44
[5 years, 191 days ago]

Fuck u


 
Ensconced [119]
2018-09-21 12:39:03
[5 years, 190 days ago]

no u


 
lover [5]
2018-09-21 16:15:59
[5 years, 190 days ago]

I <3 you guys :)


 
good swede6 [53]
2018-09-22 06:40:52
[5 years, 189 days ago]

griple


 
Bolt of Zeus [60]
2018-09-23 10:29:45
[5 years, 188 days ago]

.


 
Eco16 [1]
2018-10-05 10:51:51
[5 years, 176 days ago]

U


 
cash cash [108]
2018-10-08 07:22:06
[5 years, 173 days ago]

s


 
EscapismOWNSthisGame [4]
2018-10-09 19:50:03
[5 years, 172 days ago]

RIP


 
Escaphism [25]
2018-10-09 19:59:37
[5 years, 172 days ago]

^Fuck those guys. They whine about competition, but they make everyone want to quit. Hypocrites.


 
EscapismOWNSthisGame [6]
2018-10-09 20:12:17
[5 years, 172 days ago]

Guide to obtaining a top clan plat:

1.) Join Escapism.
2.) Score 75-100K, enough to break into the top 20.
3.) Profit :)


 
FarmAlot [140]
2018-10-09 20:21:28
[5 years, 172 days ago]

wow the jealousy is real ^_^ only add more fuel to the flame if i may say :P


 
Arkuden [130]
2018-10-12 02:58:18
[5 years, 169 days ago]

given up after only 10 days.. :( how sad


 
Destruct [130]
2018-10-12 09:48:59
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Guide to obtaining top clan / GW plat. play the fucking game more than escapism


 
Luth [245]
2018-10-12 10:16:08
[5 years, 169 days ago]

I pulled my G.W straight out of Escapism's ass!


 
OldTime v2 [200]
2018-10-12 11:23:38
[5 years, 169 days ago]

you must be real proud of pulling something out of someone's ass Congratz bro you deserve it ^_^


 
Luth [245]
2018-10-12 11:55:03
[5 years, 169 days ago]

pulling it out was simply out of respect. Pressing it in is what i'm proud of.


 
metsu [219]
2018-10-12 15:23:51
[5 years, 169 days ago]

So safe to say you like playing in and out of asses ?


 
AFCA06 [125]
2018-10-12 15:28:20
[5 years, 169 days ago]

these days, sure no problem.. 20 years ago, not so.. we had aids then.. 10 years ago.. neither. we had super aids then.. now.. who cares about aids from asspulling? no one!


 
AFCA07 [125]
2018-10-12 15:47:49
[5 years, 169 days ago]

look at me grabbing my tps too! free hat!


 
AFCA08 [125]
2018-10-12 16:19:50
[5 years, 169 days ago]

im so sad jans left this game he is now yelling kids to get off his lawn this thread is so big it is lame like jans' kids i wish it was gone (pronounce gòwn) this thread is so big its more laggy than jans' balls are saggy sorry dat ik zo dram maar geef mij maar amsterdam


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:24:42
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Play the game more than people (bots) that are online for 16 hours a day. Get real, man.

Escapism wins. Everyone else left outside of their clique loses. Stop making excuses for them. They won. Once Strung Out quits, they'll have no competition left...Possibly EVER.

They won the game. Plain and simple.


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:27:23
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Say what you want, but the clan race is dead. Escapism dominates, and then there's the "other" clan "competing". Be it PH, Torment, Strung Out, whoever.

That's fucking it. And that's sad that there aren't more competing clans.


 
El Hefe [367]
2018-10-12 16:28:04
[5 years, 169 days ago]

you saying im a quitter brah?

really you wanna go there?

ooohh lets take off gloves and fight! dance-off! dont break my heart, my achey breakey heart!


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:29:22
[5 years, 169 days ago]

You? No.

The only reason you aren't number 1 right now is because "bazza" is played by 3 people and can be online for 16 hours a day.


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:30:53
[5 years, 169 days ago]

And Kev...You left Escapism. Why the fuck are you still defending them like a good little sycophant? What I'm saying might be controversial, but it's the sad, fucking truth.


 
El Hefe [367]
2018-10-12 16:33:57
[5 years, 169 days ago]

bazza is only played by 1 person tbh.. havent you heard t-bagger, ot and ville, along with jans, me and shoegazer (whats so amazin' that keeps us shoegazin') are all the same person?


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:36:25
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Erm, no...Lobster told me it's at least 3 people. That bot is online for 16 hours a day, and even Kevin had his suspicions in the past. Lobster/OldTime/Tea,


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:38:14
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Must feel good to be in Escapism. Everyone and their mother keeps kissing your ass non-stop!


 
El Hefe [367]
2018-10-12 16:42:40
[5 years, 169 days ago]

dont forget the autoclicker doing its part too? ^^

nah.. just goofing.. im not sure about lobster, but ot is.. but who cares? i think im the only one that could care, and i dont the least bit..

and about the clan race? esc once was the one that broke another clans ruling.. their reign is well deserved.. it can, and will, be done again, easily.. all it requires is mucho people as good as me.. and.. ohh.. wait.. i see what you mean, there can be only one.. and now my typing finger hurts and its time for a smoke..


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:47:19
[5 years, 169 days ago]

See, that's the problem right there. This isn't a game with hundreds of people, or an abundance of newcomers.

And 1 clan being so god damn dominant will surely put off any potential players. You either join Escapism, and become the elite, or you're left to fight tooth and nail, most likely to no avail.

Escapism has it easy when it comes to recruiting. "Hey, wanna be in the top clan? Join us!" Boom...Done! It's that easy. Because who wouldn't want to instantly be part of the elite?

Escapism aside. There are only a few active, scoring clan left in the game. There should be more. There should be several clans that are active scoring wise, but there aren't. It's us, and them.


 
El Hefe [367]
2018-10-12 16:49:03
[5 years, 169 days ago]

is that you zour zally? it is, isnt it? ^^ damnit.. im afraid we will never be able to get along ^^


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:49:06
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Ender might as well impose a new rule: If you speak out against the ruling class, you will be punished!


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:49:36
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Actually no, it isn't. But keep kissing ass for some unknown reason.


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:53:16
[5 years, 169 days ago]

You lost your 2nd place scorer, how bout that? "Cynthesis".


 
El Hefe [367]
2018-10-12 16:53:26
[5 years, 169 days ago]

mmhhmm ^^

what is kissing ass about telling the thruth? if you, me, anyone wants to beat esc, it can be done.. just by doing the same thing they did while becoming this 'elite class'..

only problem then would be that this new clan will become the new esc and in a year and a half we have the same problem again, this time just with me being god of the game ofc ^^

are you sure youre not zally? ^^


 
El Hefe [367]
2018-10-12 16:54:41
[5 years, 169 days ago]

ah.. not zally :p


 
El Hefe [367]
2018-10-12 16:56:09
[5 years, 169 days ago]

same PH mentality tho.. ^^ no offense ofc my good friend.. sorry i made you leave :')


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 16:58:34
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Well, I just gave up 300K and a top 10 plat. Your welcome to whoever fills that spot :)


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-12 17:04:27
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Anyone who ever speaks out against Escapism MUST be Zal. Keep that in mind, you special little snowflakes. No one else could EVER have any complaints...

Whatever. It doesn't matter. Everyone else will apparently bend over backwards for you and "kiss the ring", even if they're the top scorer in the fucking game! Come on man! Stand up for yourself and for your clan! Ehhh...Too late :/

Whatever...I'm done. Officially done.


 
Retirement [71]
2018-10-12 17:19:06
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Definately not hard to beat escapism, fair enough you want more active clans and more scoring clans, but in reality, escapism have been a max of 3-5 people scoring and so has every other clan.

Think about this, strung out, ph and torment active members in the same clan. Its simple, have more active players in ONE clan and you'll have a better chance of taking the top.

I've been saying for months that if someone wants to beat escapism the easiest way to do it is to "merge" clans..


 
El Hefe [367]
2018-10-12 17:22:01
[5 years, 169 days ago]

amen :)


 
OldTime v2 [200]
2018-10-12 18:20:02
[5 years, 169 days ago]

Your 100% right Osh each clan may have abt 3-5 members max scoring yes tea is on alot but his job allows him to do that and if it wasnt for eps or kev when they put in big numbers all would be the same close races lol


 
Retirement [71]
2018-10-12 21:09:51
[5 years, 169 days ago]

So then I seriously dont know why anyones having a whinge, you want to beat escapism, form one clan.. simple really haha.


 
Luth [245]
2018-10-12 22:53:26
[5 years, 169 days ago]

super aids or not, you can't catch it twice.


 
Destruct [130]
2018-10-13 01:08:46
[5 years, 169 days ago]

I dont kiss escapisms ass. I'm friends with most of the people in escapism. The ones im not friends with I respect well enough to not have an issue with. Beating them is not a question of being impossible. It's difficult sure but not impossible. Me personally I dont have the time anymore to commit to such a large endeavor hence why I sold most of my assets. I cant make use of a large amount of dumpers anymore because im working 6 days a week every week forever now. You could make an argument that if PH SO and Torment all combined it could beat escapism which is pretty true. The issue there is all 3 clans have members that dislike eachother and noone wants to lose energy again for a merge. :P


 
Luth [245]
2018-10-13 05:22:27
[5 years, 168 days ago]

I smell a merge coming on :) I'd totally be down with pulling another GW from the anal grip of escapism and into the hands of a deserving player like... idk... eps! :)


 
El Hefe [367]
2018-10-13 05:40:15
[5 years, 168 days ago]

ah fuck Eps.. i heard he's a loser and.. oh wait.. im Eps right?


 
El Hefe [367]
2018-10-13 06:12:41
[5 years, 168 days ago]

gosh my brain hurts.. i should not have stayed in the pub till 5 in the morning.. im just not 20 anymore.. but then there was this really cute chick and her funny 'screaming morrocan' friend and them whisky, damned be them whisky.. everyone just keep calm today and not shout at me!


 
OldTime v2 [200]
2018-10-13 09:18:53
[5 years, 168 days ago]

anyways eps is gonna stop scoring when he gets #1 in wins if Sho doesnt come back thats what he told me he also said he would start scoring hard for escapism d(._.)b


 
AFCA11 [125]
2018-10-13 09:20:39
[5 years, 168 days ago]

boring meeting huh? :p


 
New Age [65]
2018-10-13 09:44:56
[5 years, 168 days ago]

its over :P now walking around :P so your not denying your gonna score hard for esc ^_^


 
MEGA MAN [90]
2018-10-13 12:25:26
[5 years, 168 days ago]

you're*


 
Antagonist [45]
2018-10-13 13:21:50
[5 years, 168 days ago]

After this whole ordeal, I have realized that it is time for me to leave the game for awhile. Perhaps not entirely, but in any "meaningful" way. The whores will be re-activated, and clans kept alive, but that's about it. I'm an alcoholic, and I've really been going off the rails as of late. I know that's no excuse, but I have offered to perm 3 stars to Eps, and I have asked Fishwick to mute me.

As far as the stars go, all Eps has to do is check his email and confirm them. I hate what I have become, and I know that you do too. I'm sorry, and I know that doesn't mean anything really. Just words that can't undo all the pain that I have caused. You wont have to worry about any of this shit again.

Just keep playing the game, and have fun.

-Cosby


 
AFCA17 [125]
2018-10-13 13:29:55
[5 years, 168 days ago]

ahh cmon bocsy, we all still love you :)

as far as the alcohol goes, you fitted very nicely in SO :) im not the right person to give advice to anyone else about not drinking too much, so i wont go that way. loving booze is not a crime tho :)

good luck with whatever you will be doing and i hope to see you soon

your buddy eps


 
cash cash 4 [87]
2018-10-15 11:27:51
[5 years, 166 days ago]

scds


 
John McClane [20]
2018-10-15 17:48:36
[5 years, 166 days ago]

John McClane, Sr. (born March 19, 1955 in Plainfield, New Jersey) is an Irish American detective lieutenant with the New York City Police Department and the main protagonist of the Die Hard film series. He is portrayed by Bruce Willis. He also briefly worked for the Los Angeles Police Department. He has been a police officer since 1977. He is separated from his wife, Holly Gennero McClane, who is using her maiden name. Holly moved to Los Angeles several months earlier to pursue a career that John ultimately thought would fail, leading to their separation. Together, they have two children, Lucy and John Jr..

John McClane, Sr. was born on March 19,1955 in Painfield located at New Jersey. His father was an Irish-American cop at New Jersey itself and his mother was a house cleaner. In his youth, John lost his father, and when he arrived to the period of adulthood, John also lost his mother. With him being an adult, John arrived to New York City, where he joined up to the NYPD and started as a private. With succeeding being an excellent private at the police, the captain promoted him into rank of police detective.

As he finished solving a mystery as a detective, the captain also promoted McClane into the rank of a police lieutanant.

On Christmas Eve, 1988, John travels to Los Angeles to spend Christmas with his children. He first visits his wife Holly at the Nakatomi Plaza where she works, although she is initially pleased to see him they soon have a argument about Holly not using her marital name. Simultaneously, a gang of twelve terrorists led by Hans Gruber break into the Nakatomi Plaza and take all the employees, including Holly hostage. The gang's intentions are to steal the $640 million dollars in negotiable bearer bonds that are locked in the building's vault.

McClane fights his way through the building, outnumbered thirteen to one and contacts the police on a stolen radio. When the police send Sergeant Al Powell to investigate, McClane gets his attention by throwing the body of Marco, a terrorist he killed, onto his car. McClane fights to save the hostages and defeat the terrorists who are revealed to really be thieves after $640 million in the building's vault.

Despite the arrival of the police and FBI, the only person who proves remotely helpful to McClane is Powell who McClane befriends over the radio. McClane rescues all the hostages but Holly who has been taken with Gruber and goes after him, discovering that he only has two bullets left in his police handgun and none in his stolen machine gun. McClane tapes the handgun to his back with Christmas gift wrap tape and uses the butt of the gun to knock out one of the three remaining terrorists.

McClane pretends to surrender to Gruber who holds Holly hostage, but grabs the gun from his back and shoots Eddie in the head, killing him and Hans in the shoulder, causing him to fall through a window. Hans tries to pull Holly with him, but McClane saves her and Hans falls to his death. Outside, McClane finally meets Powell face to face, but Karl, who wanted revenge as McClane killed his brother Tony and who McClane believed dead, arrives and takes aim at him, but he's saved by Powell who shoots Karl dead. McClane and Holly reconcile and head off in a limo driven by Argyle.

Now reconciled with Holly (who has adopted a hyphenated last name), John is living in Los Angeles and is serving there as a cop. John and the kids are in Washington, D.C., visiting Holly's parents as he awaits the arrival of Holly's plane. While he's waiting, Special Forces mercenaries seize control of Dulles International Airport. The terrorist group takes control of the airport's communications and halts planes from landing, including the plane that is carrying his wife. The planes are only fueled for their flight length, so as is, the planes are running on fumes. If demands are not met, or there is an act of non-compliance, the terrorists have the ability to crash planes as they please by wrongly directing them nose-first into the runway by using equipment that can feed the pilots with improper altitude calculations.

McClane, initially getting almost no help from airport police (led by Police Captain Carmine Lorenzo), takes on the terrorists led by Colonel Stuart himself as Lorenzo makes up his own plan, not taking any of McClane's predictions or advice into consideration. McClane gets some help from airport janitor Marvin, who guided him around the airport. When Lorenzo's SWAT unit is quickly wiped out by Stuart's men in an ambush, McClane saves Leslie Barnes from being killed and kills three of Stuart's men in the process. Barnes was being escorted to the antenna array in an attempt to store power. As soon as McClane and Barnes are about to continue their way out to the array, the array explodes, ruining any chance of communications being restored. In retaliation to the attempted non-compliance, Stuart and his team feed one of the jets improper altitude information. McClane rushes out to the runway with makeshift light batons in an attempt to try and safely land the plane.

Stuart and his men, despite all of McClane's efforts, cause the plane to crash into the runway, killing over 230 people in a fiery plane crash. McClane is devastated.

Later, after learning from a radio that General Esperanza has arrived, McClane tries to capture him while he's still inside of the plane, but McClane is ambushed by Stuart and his men. McClane barely escapes through the use of an ejector seat in the plane after locking himself in the cabin. Finding Stuart's church based hideout with help from Barnes, McClane helps in an attack by an Army Special Forces unit led by Major Grant and kills two more of the terrorists, but notices that when he was using one of the terrorists machine guns he wasn't able to cause any harm.

McClane crashes a snowmobile while in pursuit of the fleeing terrorists. He, again, realizes that the gun he had picked up from one of the terrorists wasn't hitting the target, even when he clearly had the shooter in his sights. Upon checking, McClane sees that the gun is loaded with blanks and that its a double cross, and the Special Forces team aren't on his side after all. McClane runs back to the airport and explains to Carmine what he's discovered. Carmine believes McClane is bluffing at first, and dismisses his claims. McClane verifies his story by firing the blanks off directly at Carmine, proving that he's telling the truth. Carmine then tells all of his men to gear up and prepare to help in stopping Stuart, Esperanza, and now Grant and his men from escaping on a jet.

Carmines attempt to help is rendered totally pointless when Richard Thornburg causes mass panic at the airport by revealing what's actually going on the ground and in air over Dulles International in a live news broadcast from the plane he's on. McClane then gets Sam Coleman and her news crew to give him a lift in their news chopper. They drop McClane onto the plane's wing where he jams the ailerons and stops the plane from lifting off. Grant goes out on the wing to check out whats wrong and McClane manages to kill him in a fight. Stuart then emerges onto the wing, and he's physically superior to McClane and is a better fighter. It doesn't take long until McClane is kicked from the planes wing by Stuart, but not before McClane pulls open a fuel dump on the side of the plane without Stuart knowing. McClane pulls out his zippo and ignites the fuel, blowing up the plane and killing Stuart and the rest of the terrorists. Holly's plane, which has no choice but to land, is able to use the fire from the wreckage and fuel trail to land. The other planes follow soon after. McClane and Holly are reunited and Lorenzo tears up a ticket McClane got as a Christmas gift.

John McClane is once again with the NYPD. He had separated from his wife, and by his own admission, is on the verge (if not already, he was described as being "two steps" away, to which John claimed it was actually only one) of alcoholism. Having been suspended, though what he did do to get suspended remains unknown, John had spent the entire previous evening drinking excessively, when he was recalled into duty as a bomber calling himself Simon demanded John's presence to endure several "games" throughout the day, or he'll use another bomb, and blow up a school.

As part of Simon's "game" he was forced to walk through Harlem wearing a sign saying "I Hate Niggers." During an altercation with some gang members, he is aided and later saved by good Samaritan and local shop owner, Zeus Carver. Accompanied by Zeus, McClane attempts to stop Simon whom he learns is really Simon Gruber, the brother of Hans Gruber, McClane's old enemy from Nakatomi Plaza. While its believed by many that Simon wants revenge for his brother's death, McClane realizes that he has robbed the Federal Reserve Bank in New York of $140 billion in gold bullion and tries to track Simon down and retrieve the gold. Eventually McClane and Zeus track Simon to a boat and learn that the bomb at the school isn't real with Simon claiming he's not a monster. Simon instead intends to blow up the boat with the gold supposedly on it, but McClane realizes that its just a trick so he can get away with the gold as Hans tried the same thing.

McClane and Zeus escape before the boat explodes and McClane, at the urging of Zeus, calls Holly, but drops the phone just as she comes on the line due to finding a clue on the bottom of the aspirin bottle Simon gave him for his headache. McClane discovers that the bottle has the name of the town in Canada that Simon fled to and leads the Canadian Mounted Police in an attack on Simon's warehouse that recovers the gold and captures Simon's army. Simon, however, follows McClane's helicopter in one of his own and fires on it with an M-60. McClane's helicopter is forced to land and McClane draws Simon away, armed with a revolver with only two bullets in it. McClane shoots down a billboard wire onto the rotor of Simon's helicopter, causing it crash and killing Simon. Afterwards, at the urging of Zeus, McClane calls Holly again even though he knows she'll be furious with him for leaving her hanging earlier.

In the 19 years since the Nakatomi Plaza Heist, McClane's actions seem to have been forgotten, leaving him bitter about it, as they have cost him his family. In addition, he even says he has not killed anyone for a long time, and has also been promoted to Lieutenant Detective. He is divorced from his wife and estranged from his children as shown when he confronts his daughter Lucy and she calls him by his first name. Its revealed that she tells all of her boyfriends that he's dead.

After the FBI asks for a senior detective to pick up hacker Matt Farrell in Camden, New Jersey and deliver him to the FBI Headquarters, McClane's boss sends him to do it and he unknowingly arrives just in time to save Farrell from being assassinated by a bomb. When the assassins try to shoot Farrell, McClane gets into a gunfight with them and manages to kill three before escaping with Farrell. McClane delivers Farrell to Deputy Director Miguel Bowman of the FBI who directs him to take Farrell to Homeland Security. On the way, Farrell recognizes the voice of the woman directing them as Mai Linh, the woman who hired him.

After tricking Mai, McClane talks to the head terrorist Thomas Gabriel who tries to get him to kill Farrell. Failing, Gabriel sends a helicopter to attack them, killing all but McClane and Farrell. McClane manages to kill the gunman by knocking over a fire hydrant, sending water spraying into the chopper and knocking him out of it, but Gabriel sends all the traffic in a tunnel straight at him in an attempt to kill him and Farrell. The attempt fails and McClane brings down the chopper by crashing a police cruiser into it and is believed dead in the wreckage by Gabriel's goon Rand. McClane teams up with Farrell in an attempt to stop Gabriel's fire sale and travels to the Eastern Hub where he kills Mai and has Farrell stop an attempt to shut down the eastern power grid. Using video conferencing, McClane and Gabriel get to see each other face-to-face and after taunting Gabriel, McClane sends Gabriel's image to Bowman who identifies Gabriel. Gabriel blows up the Hub in an attempt to kill McClane and Farrell, but they escape.

Deciding to go to Farrell's friend Warlock for help, McClane, who took flying lessons in an attempt to conquer his fear of flying, flies Mai's helicopter to Warlock's house. Warlock refuses to help at first, but eventually helps them figure out that Gabriel's after something at a building called Woodlawn. Gabriel makes contact and threatens Lucy, which enrages McClane who goes after him with Farrell after Warlock tracks him to Woodlawn. Farrell sets off the alarms there to draw the FBI and after the two are separated, McClane defeats Russo and takes his gun (having lost his along the way) and radio and contacts Gabriel, pretending to kill Russo. Gabriel tries and fails to make McClane see things his way so he tries to get Lucy to convince McClane. Lucy, who grew proud of her father during this time, instead tells him that there are only five bad guys left.

McClane fights and kills Rand and jumps on top of Gabriel's semi as he and his men leave with Lucy and Farrell hostage. McClane kills the semi's driver Robinson and uses its radio to contact Warlock and have him connect him to Bowman. McClane gives Gabriel's vehicle's license plate number so the FBI can track him through LoJack tracking system and tries to take Gabriel down. Gabriel tricks an F-35 into attacking him, but McClane escapes and accidentally destroys the fighter jet. Spotting Gabriel's vehicle entering a nearby warehouse, McClane goes after him, getting there as Gabriel is using Lucy to force Farrell to decode financial data. McClane kills Trey and one of Gabriel's two remaining henchmen, but is stopped from harming Gabriel by him using Lucy as a hostage and is shot in the shoulder by Emerson. Lucy shoots Emerson in the foot with his own gun and tries to kick it to her father, but the gun is stopped by Gabriel, leaving McClane weaponless. Gabriel decides to force McClane watch as he kills Farrell and Lucy before killing him and digs his gun into McClane's wound to torture him. McClane takes the opportunity and manages to fire Gabriel's gun, sending the bullet through his shoulder and into Gabriel, killing him.

As Emerson goes to kill McClane, Farrell grabs McClane's gun and kills Emerson as the FBI finally arrive to help. Later, at Lucy's urging, McClane checks on Farrell, making sure he's alright and thanks him for saving Lucy's life, but threatens him when he shows interest in Lucy. McClane is annoyed when Lucy also shows interest in Farrell, but seems to have reconciled with her or is at least on the way to reconciling with her.

Around 5 years after Fire Sale cyber-terrorist attack and 26 years after the Nakatomi Plaza takeover, McClane learns that his son Jack has been arrested in Russia and is to appear in court in Moscow. He and Jack haven't spoke in years. As he went on the plane to go to Moscow, he rides on the Russia cab driver to go to the courthouse, but the brutal heavy traffic in Moscow was preventing McClane to get to the courthouse. The cab driver lets McClane off after he sing since the courthouse wasn't too far from where they were. McClane then reach to the courthouse and saw Jack being taken to the courthouse along with an former billionaire name Yuri Komarov, who is also a prisoner.

As McClane waited outside the courthouse, several car bombs exploded in the courthouse. As he sees Jack leaving in the blue van with Komarov, McClane jumps in the front in the vehicle to stop it. Jack was surprised that his father was there, but wasn't thrilled to see him. But when Jack sees Russian terrorists coming at him, Jack retreats back in the van before McClane can confront his son. As the van left, he went to the truck and sees a Cougar vehicle chasing Jack's van. As McClane drives around Moscow to pursue the vehicle through the streets of Moscow, a henchman fired a RPG-7 missile at the truck. McClane narrowly avoided the missile, but crash the vehicle. He steals the G-Wagon truck to continue the pursuit. He drives off the bridge and drives on top of car-carrying trailer and several cars to get to the freeway below. As he pursued the truck, he rams the Cougar vehicle off the freeway bridge, but flipped over as well. As he distracted the terrorists from shooting at cops, Jack reluctantly picks up his father and they headed out.

Then they reached an apartment, where it is actually a CIA safe house. McClane realizes that Jack is a CIA agent who was in an undercover operation for the past three years. Jack, along with his CIA partner Mike Collins, are looking for a file that Komarov has that will bring down Komarov's ex-partner Viktor Chagarin, who is crooked high-ranking Russian official. Then Collins was shot and killed by men working for Chagarin's enforcer Alik, who breached the safe house. McClane holds off the terrorists as Jack blew the wall open as they, along with Komarov, got away. They went to the hotel where Komarov kept a key to the vault where the file is. They also meet by Komarov's daughter Irina, but McClane was suspicious about her time of arrival due to the traffic in Moscow. His suspicion was confirmed when Alik and his surviving men arrived. Irina reveals that she betrayed her father for money as Alik's men tie McClane and Jack up. As they take Komarov to the helicopter, Alik and his men assaulted both McClanes. As they we're about to be executed, Jack uses the hidden knife to cut himself and he and McClane attacked the men. Although they killed Alik's henchmen, Alik makes his getaway. Then the Hind-F helicopter, piloted by a terrorist named Vadim open fires at them. They jumped through the window and we through several objects to survive the fall.

As McClane and Jack made to the safe place, Jack finally reveals to his father that Komarov and Chagarin we're partners in billion of dollars of weapons-grade uranium business in Chernobyl, Ukraine. But after the nuclear incident in Chernobyl, they fell apart badly and have since been feuding with each other since. Komarov says that the file contains incriminating evidence on Chagarin. As McClane pulls out the minor rebar wound on Jack, they stole a car that contained weapons to head for Chernobyl.

As they arrived in Chernobyl, they see Komarov, Alik and Irina have arrived as well with many terrorists as well. As they loaded up, they went to deal with the men at the abandoned warehouse where the file is appeared to be in. As they reached the vault, they see Komarov there as well. When McClane sees Alik's body, he and Jack realized Komarov set them up over everything and Chagarin was just a target for Komarov's revenge for betraying him years before (Komarov had his hitman assassinate Chagarin). As they arrested Komarov, Irina, who is actually in league with her father, came to his rescue with their remaining men. As Jack went after Komarov, McClane went after Irina. AS he boarded the chopper, he kills the terrorist in the cargo hold. But finds he can't get in the cockpit. As Jack was under fire by the chopper's gun, McClane ties a chain to the truck and to the chopper. He drives off the chopper and it pulls the chopper down, bringing it off-balanced. After Jack kills Komarov by tossing him off the roof and into the helicopter's rotor, McClane jumps off the off-balanced truck and through the glass of the warehouse. As Jack reunites with his father, Irina, enraged by her father's death, decides to use a suicide attack, but McClane and Jack jump into a water tank as the exploding chopper kills Irina, Vadim and their helicopter co-pilot.

As Jack was looking for his father, he finds out that McClane got off the water tank before he did. As they we're walking away, Jack asked his father does always look for trouble or does it find him. McClane only replies that he "still asks himself the same question."

Back in New York, McClane and Jack arrived by airplane. As they got off, they we're reunited with McClane's daughter Lucy, Jack's older sister. The reunited McClane family happily walks off together.


 
Kate Beckinsale [42]
2018-10-21 11:17:09
[5 years, 160 days ago]

Public Socializer


 
Aoi [1]
2018-10-21 14:13:14
[5 years, 160 days ago]

Aren't I sexy? ^_^


 
Leslie Chow [34]
2018-10-21 19:42:36
[5 years, 160 days ago]

So long gay boys!


 
good swde67 [1]
2018-10-28 06:48:45
[5 years, 153 days ago]

hop


 
good swede66 [1]
2018-10-28 07:06:22
[5 years, 153 days ago]

oi


 
Info [1]
2018-10-29 14:17:01
[5 years, 152 days ago]

U aint sexy


 
Silence Remains [10]
2018-11-01 17:25:33
[5 years, 149 days ago]

Speak for yourself... :D


 
Artorias [1]
2018-11-07 03:27:19
[5 years, 143 days ago]

-


 
DKM01 [125]
2018-11-13 17:31:21
[5 years, 137 days ago]

eps!


 
DKM03 [125]
2018-11-13 17:34:43
[5 years, 137 days ago]

Eps!


 
DKM04 [125]
2018-11-13 17:38:21
[5 years, 137 days ago]

Eps!


 
DKM05 [125]
2018-11-13 17:41:12
[5 years, 137 days ago]

meh


 
DKM06 [125]
2018-11-13 17:44:52
[5 years, 137 days ago]

v


 
DKM07 [125]
2018-11-13 17:48:27
[5 years, 137 days ago]

b


 
DKM08 [125]
2018-11-13 17:51:58
[5 years, 137 days ago]

Peps


 
DKM09 [125]
2018-11-13 17:56:50
[5 years, 137 days ago]

him


 
DKM10 [125]
2018-11-13 18:06:16
[5 years, 137 days ago]

der clown macht spass


 
DKM11 [125]
2018-11-13 18:14:46
[5 years, 137 days ago]

pancho


 
DKM12 [125]
2018-11-13 18:18:59
[5 years, 137 days ago]

me3


 
DKM13 [125]
2018-11-13 18:22:18
[5 years, 137 days ago]

dd


 
DKM14 [125]
2018-11-13 18:25:49
[5 years, 137 days ago]

Eps?


 
DKM15 [125]
2018-11-13 18:30:08
[5 years, 137 days ago]

yeh


 
DKM16 [125]
2018-11-13 18:34:22
[5 years, 137 days ago]

16


 
DKM16 [125]
2018-11-13 18:34:23
[5 years, 137 days ago]

16


 
DKM17 [125]
2018-11-13 18:57:32
[5 years, 137 days ago]

epsadoodles!


 
DKM18 [125]
2018-11-15 18:32:20
[5 years, 135 days ago]

epssie


 
DKM19 [125]
2018-11-15 18:33:39
[5 years, 135 days ago]

im 17


 
DKM20 [125]
2018-11-15 18:37:53
[5 years, 135 days ago]

LLPOF


 
boom07 [100]
2018-11-21 02:59:44
[5 years, 129 days ago]

yo


 
IronChefSecretIngred [30]
2018-11-21 12:34:04
[5 years, 129 days ago]

Y


 
0nee [100]
2018-11-21 13:27:52
[5 years, 129 days ago]

Check!


 
Kaori Momoi [144]
2018-11-22 10:14:54
[5 years, 128 days ago]

a post


 
tank1 [1]
2018-11-25 03:41:08
[5 years, 125 days ago]

a post to


 
boom05 [100]
2018-11-25 05:03:47
[5 years, 125 days ago]

x


 
Cosby [194]
2018-11-25 10:21:07
[5 years, 125 days ago]

Impressive!


 
Julius Pepperwood [121]
2018-11-26 08:51:33
[5 years, 124 days ago]

I'm from Chicago. Thin crust Pizza? No thank you - I'm from Chicago.


 
tank4 [1]
2018-12-04 16:39:04
[5 years, 116 days ago]

pepperoni then?


 
ryuni [46]
2018-12-05 02:07:10
[5 years, 115 days ago]

Uh


 
tank2 [1]
2018-12-05 12:53:19
[5 years, 115 days ago]

what


 
tank3 [1]
2018-12-05 13:04:44
[5 years, 115 days ago]

tank2 you are an idiot


 
Joi [175]
2018-12-15 04:27:43
[5 years, 105 days ago]

public socializer


 
qweasdzxc123 [74]
2018-12-15 04:53:19
[5 years, 105 days ago]

Heya everybody!


 
good swede43 [53]
2018-12-15 16:27:07
[5 years, 105 days ago]

re


 
Ontheroadagain [2]
2018-12-23 07:14:03
[5 years, 97 days ago]

Merry Christmas 🤗


 
Goddess Ana [4]
2018-12-31 17:56:37
[5 years, 89 days ago]

Hai :)


 
good swede68 [1]
2019-01-03 21:20:18
[5 years, 86 days ago]

duck


 
good swede69 [1]
2019-01-14 05:28:47
[5 years, 75 days ago]

suck


 
good swede70 [1]
2019-01-14 06:45:23
[5 years, 75 days ago]

muck


 
ordinary1 [1]
2019-01-26 18:58:24
[5 years, 63 days ago]

hg


 
good swede71 [1]
2019-01-27 22:26:33
[5 years, 62 days ago]

j


 
good swede72 [1]
2019-01-28 10:07:14
[5 years, 61 days ago]

k


 
USELESS [148]
2019-01-28 20:35:16
[5 years, 61 days ago]

l


 
AFCA01 [125]
2019-01-29 12:29:46
[5 years, 60 days ago]

m


 
AFCA02 [125]
2019-01-29 12:30:32
[5 years, 60 days ago]

v


 
AFCA03 [125]
2019-01-29 12:33:08
[5 years, 60 days ago]

b


 
AFCA04 [125]
2019-01-29 12:37:18
[5 years, 60 days ago]

b


 
AFCA05 [125]
2019-01-29 12:41:48
[5 years, 60 days ago]

b


 
AFCA06 [125]
2019-01-31 13:13:22
[5 years, 58 days ago]

b


 
AFCA07 [125]
2019-01-31 13:22:06
[5 years, 58 days ago]

m


 
AFCA08 [125]
2019-01-31 13:31:58
[5 years, 58 days ago]

m


 
AFCA09 [125]
2019-01-31 13:39:18
[5 years, 58 days ago]

b


 
AFCA10 [125]
2019-01-31 13:43:53
[5 years, 58 days ago]

m


 
tank5 [2]
2019-02-06 01:50:57
[5 years, 52 days ago]

g


 
tank6 [1]
2019-02-07 13:19:52
[5 years, 51 days ago]

k


 
good swede74 [1]
2019-02-09 11:25:57
[5 years, 49 days ago]

o


 
good swede73 [1]
2019-02-12 09:02:45
[5 years, 46 days ago]

m


 
good swede023 [76]
2019-02-12 09:35:58
[5 years, 46 days ago]

d


 
good swede11 [1]
2019-02-23 16:34:00
[5 years, 35 days ago]

w


 
tank9 [1]
2019-02-24 06:04:06
[5 years, 34 days ago]

s


 
tank7 [1]
2019-03-03 13:20:42
[5 years, 27 days ago]

k


 
tank8 [1]
2019-03-03 13:28:17
[5 years, 27 days ago]

i


 
Gnomey [119]
2019-03-04 01:22:32
[5 years, 27 days ago]

big feet smell funky


 
tank9 [1]
2019-03-08 09:05:56
[5 years, 22 days ago]

j


 
Flo Rida [1]
2019-03-09 04:07:00
[5 years, 21 days ago]

K


 
tank10 [2]
2019-03-10 09:13:23
[5 years, 20 days ago]

l


 
rednE [1]
2019-03-11 17:05:06
[5 years, 19 days ago]

K


 
Huj31 [2]
2019-03-12 03:24:59
[5 years, 18 days ago]

Blomba


 
Huj1 [3]
2019-03-12 03:26:47
[5 years, 18 days ago]

Lol


 
Huj32 [2]
2019-03-12 03:42:06
[5 years, 18 days ago]

G


 
Clit [1]
2019-03-12 07:01:44
[5 years, 18 days ago]

G point i'm back 420


 
good swede75 [1]
2019-03-12 17:30:58
[5 years, 18 days ago]

dyrk


 
good swede76 [1]
2019-03-12 17:36:27
[5 years, 18 days ago]

reak


 
good swede77 [1]
2019-03-13 18:44:41
[5 years, 17 days ago]

frt


 
Eee859 [1]
2019-03-14 03:49:00
[5 years, 16 days ago]

hi


 
Huj35 [2]
2019-03-15 01:44:35
[5 years, 16 days ago]

Still boring here


 
Huj39 [1]
2019-03-21 14:31:34
[5 years, 9 days ago]

H


 
FM04 [125]
2019-03-24 05:13:04
[5 years, 6 days ago]

\o//


 
tank11 [1]
2019-03-30 13:12:56
[5 years, 0 days ago]

zoz


 
Ender [1]
Administrator
2019-04-01 02:12:58
[4 years, 364 days ago]

This thread loads noticeably slowly for me, so I think 610 replies is a good cutoff point for starting edition IV. Whoever next has need of this trophy, please create a new thread.

Edition III, 2014-2019, RIP

*click*